The need to punch someone

School started a few weeks ago and we are in the middle of the transitional time where the boys are getting used to their new schedule and they’re becoming acclimated to their new teachers and classrooms. It is always a challenge, but school is always such a welcome experience following the less-scheduled summertime.

Over the past couple of months I have noticed that the boys were starting to fight more. At first it was kind of cute in a way. This is because in the past they weren’t really interested enough in each other to spend the time and energy to play together, much less fight. Their autism experience meant they didn’t choose to have interactions with each other unless it was necessary.

As they began to have small arguments and sibling rivalry, I was excited for those neurotypical moments. In my mind, it was part of their development and they were learning what it meant to be brothers. They appeared to be going through something that all siblings go through when they just rub each other the wrong way simply because they live together in the same house day after day. I know what that’s like and so does everyone else out there that is not an only child.

Their fighting became more intense as the summer continued, and it also became physical. It got so bad that at the end of summer it seemed that we were dealing with daily screaming matches, hitting or kicking that always led to someone getting hurt or brought to tears, and the eventual slamming of doors and yelling through the walls to continue the argument from their different rooms after I had to forcibly separate them when I couldn’t take any more.

In many regards, Prince Charming has been the instigator of most the fights. Although, Monkey is not innocent and often pushes all the hot buttons that quickly trigger his little brother. You would think that Monkey would just clock Prince Charming because he has been training in karate for a year now. But, what I found was that Monkey would often fall victim to the aggression that came from Prince Charming when he had turned into a Grumpy Badger. Monkey wouldn’t defend himself and would eventually get hurt to some degree; but I’ve found that about half the time his “hurt” is for dramatic purposes in the hope that it will get his brother in trouble.

After a particularly rough week last week, I sat down with Prince Charming to have a talk about what had been going on between him and his brother. I had been thinking that some of the fighting had to do with his need for sensory input on his body (a.k.a. “proprioception”). He had been hitting his punching bag in his room a lot more recently, and I wasn’t sure if it was due to anger issues or sensory issues or both.

This is the punching bag
that Prince Charming uses.
He doesn't use the gloves.
(Affiliate Link)

We had a really nice chat, just the two of us, hanging out on my bed. I let him do most of the talking as I led with certain questions to try to open him up.

After a few minutes I asked him, “Honey, why do you keep hitting your brother?” 

The response I got was quite surprising.

“He makes a really great punching bag, Mommy.”

It struck me as funny and I immediately started to laugh. He got a case of the giggles because I was laughing, so we had a good chuckle for a moment.

Then I asked him, “What do you mean by ‘he makes a great punching bag’?”

“It feels good when I punch him.”

“So, do you like punching him to make him cry, or do you like the way it feels on your hand?”

“It feels good on my hand. He’s softer than my punching bag.”

“Oh, I understand! It makes your body feel good when you are hitting something, and hitting him feels nicer than hitting the punching bag.”

“Yeah.”

“I have an idea about something else you could do that might make you feel the same way but wouldn’t hurt your brother. Do you want to try it with me?”

“Yes!”

He got really excited. I demonstrated how he could put couch cushions on the floor and try to punch straight down to see if he could feel the floor through the cushion. He showed me that he’d like to try it a different way than I suggested, and he was happy to try it out.

When we are in the throes of a bad day because the boys are fighting incessantly and I feel like I’m at the end of my patience and ugly mommy is going to pay a visit, it is so easy to automatically go to the behavioral side of the equation. But, if I hadn’t been paying attention, I would have missed the clues he gave me about the fact that his sensory needs were not being met.

Obviously it isn’t okay for him to hit or hurt his brother, and there are consequences for his actions when it happens. But, it was more than that. And, that’s the point. As parents of children with autism, we need to keep our eyes, ears, and minds open to the possibility that there is more going on than what we see in front of us. If we can seek clues that lead to the function of the behavior, we will be able to better work with our children in guiding them to a more appropriate outcome, and it will also help us keep our sanity intact for another day.

A boy's first protective cup

Every boy has that moment. It’s a rite of passage. It’s that moment when they discover that their nether-regions are tender. Monkey recently had his moment.

First, a little back story. Over the summer Monkey began participating in karate. He cried at the idea of karate and we were truly doing it as an activity for Prince Charming, who had become obsessed with martial arts after watching the Avatar cartoon. Every day you could find him practicing his “bending” of the elements. It was fun to see him create awesome moves on the fly.

On the first day of karate class Prince Charming was excited and Monkey was practically kicking and screaming between the tears. My how things changed in one day. Monkey loved seeing Sensei do the moves and the kids follow along. He was motivated by what the other boys were doing.

Prince Charming quickly realized that he had trouble getting his body to copy the moves and positions. He has always struggled with motor planning and has difficulty of moving one hemisphere of his body at the same time as the other hemisphere. For him, he could focus only on manipulating his arms or his legs, but not both at the same time. It was extremely frustrating for him, and he ended up angrily shutting down and leaving the class in tears. 

Monkey enjoyed every class and has happily continued on without his little brother. One of the weekly activities is sparring. Sensei requires protective gear for the boys, including a mouth guard and a protective cup. Monkey didn’t like wearing the mouth guard, and would take it out of his mouth and lay it down on the sweaty mat. Ewww.

I didn’t even attempt getting him to wear the cup after I saw that his idea of sparring was running away from his opponent madly in circles until they captured his flags or scored points on him. He didn’t understand the concept of offensive maneuvering at all and there was really no need for us to try to cover him from head to toe in protective equipment.

Until last week. He learned the benefits of a cup from his brother.

He was harassing Prince Charming at home until the moment when the switch flipped and he became Grumpy Badger. Their interaction ended with Grumpy Badger yelling and punching Monkey…in the groin. Monkey was doubled-over, crying.

Holding himself gingerly, he hobbled and limped over to me and my husband. Screaming more than crying, he says, “He punched me in the penis! And it hurts!”

I had to bite my lip and then leave the room for a moment. I admit it. I silently chuckled behind the kitchen wall while I heard him cry to Titan about his injury. I did. I only came back into the room when I had composed myself and wiped the grin off my face.

It’s sad to say, but Monkey had it coming. He really did. He likes to push Prince Charming’s buttons and he knows exactly what to do to get a colossal reaction. We never want either of them to hit, but I think a point was made in that moment. Don’t mess with Grumpy Badger when you have pissed him off.

After that incident, I reintroduced the protective cup to Monkey. I figured it was the perfect moment, especially because his next karate class was the following afternoon. He seemed excited to try it out!

He got home from school the next day and I had him change into his karate gi. I took back out the cup and explained to him how to wear it. It looked humongous and I had no idea how he was even going to sit while wearing it. It struck me as comical.

It’s almost as if I somehow turned into a silly, giggling teenage boy in that moment. Everything just became funny. I know, I know. I may have potentially given him emotional scarring...but thankfully, I don’t think I did. He ended up catching my case of the giggles and he laughed right along with me.

He’s so skinny that the straps that go along the back of the cup just hung from his backside. He had saggy straps. Again with the laughter. Bad mommy!

Once it was on, he resembled Zohan. You remember that character that Adam Sandler played? Oh boy. Biting my lip didn’t help. More laughter. I am so bad.

Adam Sandler in You Don't Mess With the Zohan

Then, as we tried to get his pants on, the waistband wouldn’t budge over the mound of the cup. I was almost in tears with my laughter as I tried to untie his drawstring and loosen the pants up enough to get them on. Thankfully, Monkey was still laughing with me.

We got the pants on and started to tie up the gi and the belt when he decided he had to go to the bathroom. Of course. Of all the luck! I’m dying now at the absurdity of the whole thing. I helped him get out of his outfit and he waddled in to the bathroom. I gave him a moment of privacy to get back into his cup and his pants.

After a minute or so, I walked by his room to check on his progress. He was standing there naked except for his cup, actively punching himself in the groin. I mean, he’s wailing on himself. I opened the door, surprised at what I saw.

With a beaming smile he said, “I can’t feel the punches! It doesn’t hurt one bit!”

And, I lost it again. Between my peals of laughter, I redirected him to put his clothes on and stop punching himself.

He was so happy, he was literally bouncing around the house. He enjoyed wearing his cup to karate and the boys all had their moments of pretending to be hurt and rolling around the floor in fake groin pain. I was the only mom there that day, and the dads and I all had a good chuckle over our boys' antics. We even talked about that banner moment when a boy discovers the benefits of a protective cup.

Later that night as the boys got ready for bed, Titan saw Monkey running down the hall toward the bathroom, naked and in his protective gear. Thank God I didn’t see it, or I probably would have launched into another silly laughing fit. I know. Pathetic. But hilarious.

Titan told him he couldn’t wear his cup to bed, as he had hoped to do. Apparently the cup became his new favorite thing and he wanted to wear it all the time.

Monkey gave me a lot of laughter that day. It still makes me smile to think about it. I wonder when the novelty will wear off. In the meantime, I’ve learned that protective cups are fun for boys. And, funny for moms. Don’t judge me too harshly.     

Flashback Friday: Sensory-Friendly Room Makeover

As promised in my first blogiversary post this week, I am sharing some of my favorite posts from the past year. One post that consistently remained my most popular (until it got knocked down a few notches a couple of months ago) was when I described the sensory-friendly bedroom makeovers I did for my boys.

The room makeovers are just as popular with the neighborhood kids and friends from school as they are with my boys. There's something about a sensory swing that kids just love, no matter if they are neurotypical or not.

So, I hope you click over and read about what my husband and I did to make the boys' bedrooms more sensory-friendly. Maybe you'll get some ideas for your house! 

Click here and please enjoy.

Changing Names?

Over the summer my little guy earned some new nicknames. Right now I refer to him almost exclusively as Prince Charming. He truly is a charmer and he’s so dang cute that your cheeks ache from smiling at him. Now, there is his other personality… I call him Grumpy Badger for a reason. He has earned that name, for sure! He can be hell on wheels when he wants to be. It’s hard to believe that such opposite personalities can exist in one small body.

I noticed sometime during the summer that a new habit was developing. At first I thought it was a comfort thing or just a way for him to have fun, but I think ultimately it was a sensory thing for him. He began to sit with his legs pulled up tight against his abdomen, and then he would pull out his shirt over his knees. Once he pulled his arms inside his shirt, his body was encapsulated into one little mass. I’m sure there was some nice compression on his body, which probably felt good to his overactive sensory system.

It took me a while to figure out what prompted this new behavior, but then it hit me one day as he was tucking his head inside his shirt while dialoging some semi-familiar sounds. His speech was slowing down as he was forming himself into a small bundle and burying his head in his shirt. I realized that he was acting out a scene from the movie Wall-E when Wall-E was losing power and had converted back into a cube as he shut down.

Prince Charming had been making little noises here and there for a few weeks at that point, including the famous electronic, “E-va-ah” from Wall-E as he was trying to wake up Eve from when she was protecting the plant. He nailed the inflection and tone perfectly every time. His constant rendition of Wall-E reminded me of last winter’s obsession with Bugs Bunny and Yosemite Sam.

As the summer continued, I would occasionally refer to him as Wall-E when I saw him tucking himself into a little ball. He always quickly objected and then Monkey would pipe up with some comment reminding me that his name was actually Badger and not Wall-E. We would laugh over the nicknames and then continue on with our day until it happened again.

Then, one day I saw him in a little heap on the chair. His legs and arms were all tucked inside his shirt and he was in the process of also trying to get his head inside the shirt to form a perfect Wall-E cube. The difference was that he was wearing a green shirt that day. I was watching him wiggle around to get inside his shirt, and all of a sudden it popped into my head. “You’re my little Turtle, aren’t you?”

His head jerked up and he exclaimed, “Turtle? I’m not a Turtle!” I told him that he looked like a Turtle because he appeared to be hiding inside his shell, which was green. He laughed and told me I was silly. But, the funny thing is that he immediately came out of the Wall-E fantasy and began acting like himself again.

I tested the theory the next time I saw him withdraw into his shirt. “There’s my little Turtle!” His arms and legs flew out of his shirt and he immediately sat up straight. He was Prince Charming again, but with a funny look on his face like he didn’t know what to make of me calling him by a new nickname. I have since called him Turtle several more times and each time it snaps him back to reality. Hmmm. We may be onto something here…

Turtle, Wall-E, Grumpy Badger, and Prince Charming. Each of these names definitely fits my little boy. I wonder what the next one will be?      

Have you entered the giveaway contest yet? It ends on Friday the 16th! Check it out here!

Young boy with autism is handcuffed

I read this article and I couldn’t get it out of my head. It struck me how easily something like this could happen to my son or many other kids I know.

An 8-year old boy with autism had a meltdown on a school bus and was then handcuffed and taken to the local children’s hospital for a mental health hold. They kept the boy in handcuffs long after he had calmed down. The mother was not allowed to escort her son to the hospital and instead the boy was transported by the police.

So many things run through my head when I think once again about this story.  

First, this whole thing is so very sad. For the mom. For the dad. For the child. For autism parents like me. For everyone. It also makes me angry. Very angry.   

Second, can you say lawsuit? There are so many things that could have legal remedy here. Most importantly is the lack of proper IEP implementation.

Third, the meltdown trigger could be so simple that it’s tragic to see how the whole thing unfolded. The article mentioned that the boy required a special seat belt for his bus transportation. Have any of you, like me, ever seen the calming effect of a seat belt (like a 5-point harness) on a child in full-tilt meltdown? Could it be all about the sensory for this boy?

There were times when Grumpy Badger would be flipping out in public, and all I could do was remove him from the situation and go sit with him in the car (belted into his car seat) until he calmed down. Sometimes getting him belted in, despite his physical struggle, was the only way to stop the escalation of his meltdown.

Along the same lines, isn’t it also safe to conjecture that something as insignificant as a change in routine (like this boy not having his special seat belt on the bus that day) could cause a meltdown, particularly if there is a sensory component to it? I think it is very possible.

The idea that it all could have come down to a change in routine and an easily-identifiable sensory issue really gets me. Could it have really been that simple?

The parents concerns over this incident should be pondered very carefully by the school district. The mother questioned why the police “didn’t take the handcuffs off once he had calmed down.” Very good question, mom! I don’t think there will be any sort of acceptable answer to that one. The father said, “It’s humiliating and it’s inhumane. If you’re going to tell me that ten adults can’t handle a 40 or 50 pound child, then there is something wrong. He didn’t need to be in handcuffs.” Dad, your words ring very true to me!

I could go on and on about this, but I don’t think you need or want me to hammer the point home in extremely minute detail. I think it’s fairly obvious that I don’t like what happened to this 8-year old boy one bit. This child was improperly served by his school and the situation was dealt with in the wrong way. Plain and simple. I can only pray that I never have to experience something like this with my own children.  

What are your thoughts about this incident? Please share your comments below.  

Ewww...that's gross!

As the summer progresses, things just keep getting nuttier and nuttier around my house. The boys are wound up so tight with energy that I cannot adequately describe it to you, other than to borrow the words from my friend, Lindsay, over at Earth Monkey Moms. My boys are like “monkeys on crack.” Lindsay, you hit the nail on the head with that one!

I play my boys as hard as I can, but they do.not.slow.down. Ever. Unless they are sleeping. And, that could be potentially because mommy slipped them a magical “nighttime vitamin.” Melatonin, I love you. Truly. You have single-handedly saved my sanity at night.

I’m seeing an increase in sensory-seeking behavior as the summer progresses. It’s cropping up everywhere we go. At home. In the car. Out in public. Everywhere. They can be loud, erratic, argumentative, and even combative. They are ramping up their behavior in every way possible. In the process they have developed some new, ummm, interests…  Yes, interests. That’s what I'll call it.

Those interests involve their fingers. If you are a fellow mom you might have some sort of idea where I’m going with this. Good Lord, help me.  

Prince Charming has learned the fine art of mining for treasure in his nose. He’s getting to be quite the expert. He likes to practice this skill in private and I catch him every so often. When caught, he immediately runs and hides so he can attempt to continue his new favorite sport without seeing mommy’s disapproving glare.

Monkey decided he’d like to take a stab at Prince Charming’s worst habit – nail biting. He is quite the consummate professional now. Not only does he peel off his nails with his teeth, he picks at his fingers until hang nails form and even bleed. As a matter of fact, he has taught himself to put on a bandaid by himself because it was happening so much that I began refusing to fix him up. Whenever I see him with a bandaid on his finger I know what he’s been up to. As if it couldn’t get any better, he has taken nail biting and turned it into the art form of removing a portion of nail and treating it like chewing gum in his mouth. It.is.disgusting. He is an expert at being sneaky, so I know I’m only catching him in the act a fraction of the time he actually does it. Blech! It makes my stomach turn just writing about it.

I know boys will be boys and all that, but my boys are driving me bananas with their new habits. What is a stressed out mom to do? I’m thinking bribery. Whaaat? Yes, it's true. I have been known to offer a bribe now and again.

We are approaching the end of summer break and I’m feeling worn down and in need of a mommy treat. And, a bribe can also be a mommy treat. Especially when it’s Starbucks! Can you say treat receipt time? My boys love to split a grande passion tea lemonade. It’s pink, after all. And, there’s nothing quite like the threat of mom consuming their special treat in front of them if they continue to choose to misbehave. I know, I know. I’m bad. But, I’m so good at it! J

I hope you are surviving your summer break! If you happen to be so lucky as to already have your kids back in school, well, let’s just say that I’m jealous.  

  

"Seeing the green flash" on SPD Blogger Network

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

My post ran over at SPD Blogger Network today, so I wanted to share it with you. I wrote this one back in February, and it talked about how I was going through our nightly routine and a simple request from me turned into a full-tilt Grumpy Badger meltdown.

I hope you take a moment to hop over to SPD Blogger Network to check out my post.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Good for giggles

What is an easy way to get the giggles around our house? Playing balloon catch, of course! It’s actually more like full-contact-football-meets-beach-volleyball. Both the boys enjoy it, but Prince Charming gets a fit of giggles whenever we play it. Last night was no exception.

Prince Charming was jumping all over, launching his body around to catch the balloon like he was diving for a fumble recovery in the Super Bowl. He was getting lots of good sensory input and hand-eye coordination practice. It’s like we were having our own sensory integration therapy at home. Our OT would be so proud.

Then, there’s the matter of the balloon going in places you don’t expect because of its uneven weight and ability to float. Let me tell you, when I got bipped in the face by the wayward balloon, he got to laughing so hard that he could barely stand. He was literally doubled over. Add in my ridiculous sound effects and he could hardly focus enough to track where the balloon was. It was hilarious! There is nothing cuter than him getting into a fit of laughter! I was laughing like crazy, too. How could I not with that much cuteness in the room?

In fact, I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard since he cured me of my headache when we played soccer a few months ago. You can read how laughter is indeed the best medicine here.

If you are in need of some good fun with your kids that is certain to cause laughter, you should try playing balloon catch. I do believe that you’ll thank me. And, you’re welcome. J

Wordless Wednesday: Vacuuming!

Prince Charming has found a new favorite activity - vacuuming! If you know anything about Kirby vacuums, they weigh A LOT.  Because of this, they have a transmission that you can switch to "drive" or leave it in "neutral." When it's in neutral, you have to use a lot more force to move the vacuum around. This is GREAT heavy work for my little dude. Now that he is no longer afraid of the noise and doesn't have to wear earmuffs or ear plugs to be around it, he loves it. He helps his body out with good sensory input by vacuuming a little bit almost every day.

This is a great chore for kids who can handle the noise and need proprioceptive input. They also feel really good helping out by doing a job around the house. One day Prince Charming asked if he could help when I had the vacuum out. Once he learned how to turn it on and maneuver it without crashing into the furniture, he's been happily vacuuming ever since. I love that he figured out that lugging around the vacuum made his body feel good.  

Mastering the rings

About a week ago my parents moved back up to Washington. The boys were little when they left the state, so it was a really big deal for our family to have them back near us again. After the actual move was over, we went over to their new place for a social visit. The boys were getting antsy because it was sunny, so we opted to have them go outside to run around for a few minutes. Titan took them out and the boys ran down toward the end of the street. And that’s when they saw it. A playground. A brand new playground. The boys came running back to the house bubbling with excitement and literally dragged me outside with them so that I could see it.

The playground is fairly well hidden and you wouldn’t necessarily know it was there unless you were exploring. The play equipment looked virtually unused! It was beautiful. In a park-like setting, it came complete with a barbeque pit, picnic table and park benches. I was astonished. They ran over to the big toy as fast as they could and immediately began climbing around.

These are similar to the rings Monkey played on.

Monkey saw the trapeze rings. They have been his nemesis for some time now. He loves the sensory input his body gets when he is hanging in the air. But, he lacks the motor planning and coordination to fling his body in the properly sequenced movements to make it across on his own. That is, until that special day at the new playground.

He was eager to make it across the rings that evening. There was a determination I hadn’t quite seen in him before at other playgrounds in times past. I think the difference was there were no distractions. There was no one else around except for our family. The playground was new to us, so it was novel and exciting. He wasn’t competing to play on the same equipment with other kids who were more adept at playground politics, or who had already easily mastered all of the toys. It was just him, Prince Charming, Titan and me.        

Titan has a distinct advantage for helping the boys with playground stuff because he is very tall. He can hold Monkey comfortably while he is suspended in the air trying to play on the various pieces of equipment. Monkey grabbed a hold of the first ring and swung himself out toward the next ring. He has always had a fear of letting go of one hand to swing toward the next ring. That, and rocking your body forward is a hard thing to coordinate while letting one hand go and getting it to the next ring in a safe manner.

Titan held Monkey by the torso and moved him through the motions for the full length of the set of rings. They repeated this as they made it back to the original starting point. Then, Monkey gave it a try by himself with Titan standing right next to him to help if needed. And guess what? He did it. All by himself! My mouth was open in astonishment. I couldn’t help but applaud his efforts. I sat there and cheered and clapped the entire time it took him to get across. It was so thrilling for him!

I could tell he was deeply satisfied with his accomplishment by the huge grin on his face. He immediately took another go at it and did it again. And like before, I was a clapping and hollering fool. I was so proud of my boy. And he was proud of himself. I love celebrating those small moments, like mastering the rings on the playground. What a joy!

Wordless Wednesday: Playing with trains

Prince Charming playing with trains in his room. This is his absolute favorite thing to do by himself.



He likes to be on the floor at eye level with the trains and their wheels.




He crawls around while he drags his head on the carpet as he moves the trains. It gives him great sensory input on his head.




When I see carpet fibers in his hair, I know exactly what he's been doing!



Yet another fat lip

Since when did trying to give and receive affection equal getting kicked in the face? Well, if you are an autism mommy like me, you may have had your fair share of fat lips and other injuries courtesy of your child. Lucky me, I get to add another one to the tally.

Prince Charming and I were hanging out in the living room enjoying a relatively calm moment in the house. He was playing with Lincoln Logs, following the picture examples inside the box to create little structures. The best part was, of course, knocking it all over when he was done. I was sitting next to him, quietly watching and making some mental observations about his play.

In the span of about 10 minutes he had built and destroyed 3 houses and was beginning to build his favorite one yet again. He doesn’t typically like anyone to touch his stuff while he plays, so I was surprised when he invited me to help him place a piece or two on his creation. He was very rigid in the way he wanted me to participate, so I tried to gently challenge him by doing something a little bit different than he expected. He objected, which was not a shock. I did this a few times and he corrected me each time. Finally we completed the building and then I teased him about how I was going to knock it down before he could. He got excited and started to watch me carefully, and we timed our movements together, knocking the building down and sending pieces tumbling all the way across the room. After tons of laughter and searching under the couch for some of the pieces, I told him that I had fun playing with him and that I would like a hug.

He immediately bolted from the room. I sat still, waiting for him to come back. I knew that he would expect me to give chase, so I wanted to see how long it would take for him to come back and see why I didn’t. When he finally came back into the room, he looked at me sheepishly, like he was ready to jump out of the way should I attempt to reach out to try to touch him. I remained completely still, hoping he would come closer to me. Like any sly mom, my intent was to reach out and scoop him into a hug. It’s hard to get affection from him and I often go long periods of time without any hugs or kisses. For a mommy who needs this kind of affection regularly, it’s hard to go without.

Seeing the green flash

Have you heard of the green flash? It’s an optical phenomenon that has been popularized by the likes of Jules Verne and, more recently, in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. The green flash is a glimmer of green light that appears momentarily at sunset as the sun dips below the horizon. Have you seen one in real life? I have, but not in the beauty of the sun setting over a calm sea. No, I saw mine last night at the exact moment my son’s angry outburst turned into a full-fledged meltdown.

I literally saw the point of no return. It was a flash before my eyes when I was trying to calm down Grumpy Badger. Why? All because he didn’t want to blow his nose.

It always starts off innocuously enough. I heard him sniffling. Granted, we’ve had a little runny nose thing in our house for the past few days. Unlike the rest of the country who is under snow and ice right now, we’ve been seeing some beautifully mild weather here. I actually have crocuses blooming and bulbs popping up in my yard. So, it’s easy to guess that a drippy nose could be caused by our spring-like weather. No biggie.

Well, the King of Perseveration himself, Monkey, took a runny nose as a great way to develop a new talent. Obsessively sniffling. We’re not talking the odd sniff here and there. No, it’s almost as if he’s been watching Mary Katherine Gallagher on Saturday Night Live. Remember her? She was Molly Shannon’s character that would sniff her fingers after they’d been in her armpits. “Superstar!” I digress... Well, Monkey’s been sniffling kind of like that. Without the armpits. And, without the fingers. Just with his nose. Loudly. My guess is that it gives him some good sensory input and so he keeps doing it. And doing it.

Grumpy Badger, the King of Echolalia, has been listening to Monkey sniffle. As you can probably guess, he’s now copying the behavior. Both of them are doing it often enough that they have effectively formed a new, loads-of-fun-for-me-to-break-later habit!

So, I’m “helping” Grumpy Badger get ready for bed because he was showing signs of being uncooperative. While in the midst of getting changed, he sniffed loudly right next to me. I heard the congestion in his nose and left to get a tissue. Knowing that I didn’t want him going to bed with a full nose of gook, I asked him to stop sniffing the stuff back up into his nose and try blowing it out into a tissue. He refused and whipped his head away from me. I talked with him a little bit about how the stuff in his nose can make him sick if he doesn’t get it out, and tried again to get him to use a tissue. He sniffed in protest and I saw his face scrunch up with an angry scowl.

That’s when it happened. I swear I saw a green flash! I knew the simple act of requesting him to blow his nose in the middle of his nighttime routine had just turned into a battle that I didn’t want to wage. I settled into a position seated on his bedroom floor because I knew that the faster I helped him resolve his meltdown, the faster he would get to bed. As I sat there, I quietly spoke to him about calming down. When he started lashing out physically, I scooped him into an intense bear hug. His body needed the pressure to help de-escalate his mood. All told, I think the meltdown lasted around 15 minutes.

After the drama had subsided, I was able to talk with him. He was ready to engage in the conversation and not shut down. Apparently after getting all of that energy out of his system, his body was finally ready to cooperate, which meant his mind could then follow suit. And you know what? He laid his head down onto his pillow with a huge smile, AFTER blowing his nose into a tissue.   

  

A sensory-friendly bedroom makeover

Last spring we chose to overhaul our boys’ bedrooms. We were having issues with them seeking sensory input in unsafe ways, and we needed them to be able to jump and crash safely. Also, due to the mood swings of my youngest, it was critical to provide built-in calming strategies. We decided to do a complete sensory-friendly bedroom makeover!

First we started with the color of the walls. We explored the psychology of color so that we could attempt to mirror the color with the outcome we were seeking. For Monkey we chose a medium blue, resembling the color of Thomas the Tank Engine. Blue is thought to be a color of serenity and calm. When Monkey isn’t in some sort of electronic toy-based coma, he tends to be on the hyper side of life, making it difficult for him to fall asleep. For Prince Charming we chose a medium green. It’s somewhere between Kermit the Frog and turquoise. Green is thought to relieve stress and promote harmony. Since our little Prince Charming can turn into a Grumpy Badger in a mere 2 seconds flat, this was a good thing to introduce into his room. Green is also thought to aid with reading ability. Prince Charming has had a rough road with learning to read and write, and we figured every little bit helps.

The most important feature of the room was centered on the idea of calming the sensory system. My boys always seem to immediately calm down when their Occupational Therapist would have them get into a Lycra swing to organize their bodies before an activity. How in the world could we get this magical swing into their rooms? We began looking for inspiration, trekking to places like Ikea. They had some really neat ideas, but nothing really clicked in the same way as hanging a homemade fabric swing. Then, we discovered how the whole room would take shape with one focal point – a loft bed.

A loft bed would address several things. First, it would give a sense of enclosure. In the past, I’ve seen Prince Charming playing quietly as he’s flat on his belly under his bed. Or, I’d see Monkey asleep on the floor, huddled in his blanket in the narrow space between his wall and the bed. They both craved the peaceful feeling of enclosure. With the raised side rails on the bed and its closeness to the ceiling, this would create a virtual tent for the boys. Also, the area underneath the bed is like a big fort, enclosed by support rails on 3 sides. We knew it would be a big hit for playtime. Second, the bed’s location close to the ceiling would help get the boys to sleep faster. It would no longer be an ideal place for play and would better serve its role as a place of relaxation and sleep. No jumping on the bed means sleep comes faster! Third, it served as the perfect solution for housing the Lycra swing, which could easily be suspended off the main support beams underneath the mattress.