Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy 2012!

It’s the beginning of a New Year! Last night I got to thinking about 2011 and how, once again, things didn’t turn out the way I expected. But you know what? I’m actually happy that my wishes didn’t all come true. Want to know why? Because for the umpteenth time, God has proven to me that His plan is better than mine. My year actually went better than I could have expected, and although it wasn’t without struggle, God always provided for our family.

My mother-in-law told me several years ago that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Instead, coincidence is actually a “God-incidence.” Those words rang true in my heart and have been a source of comfort to me ever since.   

One highlight of 2011 was starting this blog back in January. It seemed to be an inadvertent whim at the time. I certainly didn’t set out to be a mommy blogger. I didn’t plan to hurt my back and be bored silly because I couldn’t move. But, things happened. And, I’m here. And, you’re here. With me. And, that is truly awesome!

Blogging helped me rediscover my love for writing, which is something I had stuffed away for many years. It gave me the nerve to try writing an essay for inclusion in a book, and the publisher was crazy enough to include my essay in the book! Talk about a dream come true! I’m a bonafide author, of a sort…  
A blessing in disguise was the fact that I didn’t find a job. It didn’t seem very nice at the time and was a huge source of frustration! Despite some great experience and education, I was apparently unemployable. It was hard to deal with the fact that I didn’t even get a single interview despite extensive efforts to find work. That had never been a problem for me before. Ever. That was a tough pill to swallow.  
When we were first married, Titan and I agreed that if we were able to, it was important that I stay at home with our children until they were at least old enough to attend full-day school. As a result, I have been a stay-at-home mom since I had Monkey almost 9 years ago. In the summer of 2010, Titan and I made the decision to get serious about finding a bigger house and we began actively preparing our house to sell. We managed to find our dream home in the best school district in our area, so we had a goal to work toward.
The one thing standing in the way of our dream was that we couldn’t do it all on one income, and I would need to get a job to help pay for it. I was excited about the idea of returning to work. But, as you know, that didn’t pan out. In the meantime, our house continued to decline in value due to the crazy economy and we watched our equity quickly vanish. Now we are in the unfortunate position of not being able to sell without losing money. That’s not a good feeling, but we also know it is not uncommon right now. Remembering that God works in mysterious ways has enabled me to come to terms with the fact that my plan did not materialize in the way I thought it would, and it probably won’t for a very long time. 
Feeling the need to do something (beyond staying up late at night to write blog posts!), I decided to start a nonprofit organization for special needs families. I realized that I could do something I love, even if I was unpaid, and create my own dream job. Why not? I didn’t really have anything to lose! And, I would have never even tried something so crazy, had my plans not failed so miserably. 
You cannot even imagine the things that fell into place to get the ball rolling on the nonprofit! So many things happened in such a miraculous way that I know for certain that I am doing what I should be doing and it’s happening at the right time. And, I am excited to be a part of it. My hope is that one day I will get paid, but for now, I’m happy that I am at least able to tap into my passion for the special needs community and build something great.
God continues to provide and that’s all I can ask for. I believe that everything else will follow in God’s timing and I can’t wait to see what that will look like. Even if I rebel and feel disappointment that things aren’t always “going my way,” I know that in the end, lessons will be learned and blessings will flow from those difficult moments.
As long as I don’t force my own agenda and allow God to work, I know things will be better than I could have imagined. I learned this lesson when I met my incredible husband. Since I tend to be a Type-A control freak, this is a lesson that God continues to teach me all the time. Maybe one day I’ll get it through my thick skull and just make it easier on myself!
So, I intentionally choose to begin this year with a sense of peace and hopeful expectation that things will not go according to my plan and desire, but instead be true to the path that God has for me. I know there will be a lot of hard work and challenges ahead in 2012, but I truly cannot wait to see what blessings will pour forth.
Wishing you all the best for 2012,
Happy New Year!

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