Book Review & Giveaway: Easy to Love but Hard to Raise

Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet? Well, today I’m trying to help you out a little bit with that. I have a book that is perfect to give to your extended family members who maybe need a little insight about special needs. Or, you can keep it as a nice gift for yourself as a reminder that you are not alone.

I was contacted by DRT Press about the new book, Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents; Challenging Kids, True Stories, edited by Kay Marner and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista. They didn’t give me a big, fat check to say nice things about them, but they did send me a shiny, new copy of this book in paperback. I was cool with that because I love books, and may even have a slight problem with them - you should see all the books in my office…

You, my friends, now have a chance to win a copy of Easy to Love but Hard to Raise for your very own! It’s like a little bit of Christmas from me to you (courtesy of DRT Press). J

The editors set the tone for the book when they gave their acknowledgements:

…to all the parents of children who are oh-so-easy to love, but so hard to raise. May you find hope, community and kindred spirits in these pages.

You know you are in for something real when you see a statement like that.

There are stories written by 32 parents that describe situations they’ve had with their children. Between these anecdotes are brief Q & A sections with 25 experts that discuss related issues. This is a unique approach and it provides a nice contrast in content.

Rather than focusing on my favorite moments from the diverse stories shared within its pages, I find myself more drawn to the intent of the book.

I really appreciated the Foreward written by Dr. Edward Hallowell. Here is an excerpt taken from page xi:

Some kids are easy to love. Some kids just sail through childhood getting love wherever and whenever they need it. But then there are the kids who live in alphabet soup. They are not so easy to love. They can be difficult, distant, disobedient, defiant, dangerous, even delusional. They can leave a parent crying herself to sleep every night, they can leave a parent feeling guilty for having negative feelings, they can leave a parent despairing that the child will ever find a way in the world, they can deplete the store of love every parent starts off with.

But they can’t deplete it for long. That’s what’s so amazing about these parents. They keep on going. They never give up. They give their all, and then they find more all to give. They are paragons of the best of the human spirit. And they earn this praise in the hot and dusty arena of the struggle to raise a child who can seem, at times, impossible to raise.    

Yes!

Yes. He gets it.

With the Introduction from Kay Marner, we realize the true meaning of this book. It is this intent with which I write my blog. These words could have just as easily come from me and they speak the truth of what many of us parents in the trenches seek to do by reaching out to others.

No, I’m not a parenting expert, but I am an expert on my child and the complex and contradictory emotions that come with raising her. In time I’ve learned that there’s value in sharing these emotions. Expert advice is not the only thing struggling parents need. We also need to know we’re not alone; to know that other parents are going through similar experiences, making similar mistakes, and searching for similar answers. We need something experts can’t give us: we need each other.

Absolutely.

There’s really nothing more to say, is there?

If you want to learn about how other parents are dealing with ADHD, SPD, OCD, PDD and other diagnoses, than you should definitely take some time to read this book. The parent perspective is a refreshing change from the dry, scientific “experts” that we all read in our spare time between the various daily crises, adventures and attempts to sleep.

One thing is certain, if you hadn’t already figured it out: you are not alone.

Thank you to DRT Press for giving me a chance to read this book, and also for allowing me to give away a copy to my dear readers. To learn more about this book, visit www.easytolovebut.com or www.drtpress.com.   

*UPDATE as of 11/30/12 12pm Pacific*
There have been some technical difficulties with the giveaway widget since I posted this 12 hours ago. I started out with Rafflecopter and had a couple of entries, but ultimately I had to trash that one. I have to apologize to those that entered via Rafflecopter - I have no idea who you are...sorry. You will need to re-enter with the new widget. I replaced the old widget with a new one from PunchTab that seems to be doing better, unless you are on Internet Explorer. So far, it does not appear to work in IE at all and will not get past the "loading" screen. You will need to use Chrome or some other browser to enter the giveaway. SORRY for all of the issues this time around.

I’ll announce the winner of the giveaway next week! Good luck, everyone!

Book Review & Giveaway: The Golden Hat

Last April I first shared with you about Kate Winslet’s upcoming book entitled, The Golden Hat. I was intrigued by how she became friends with an autism family following her experience of voicing the English narration of their film, A Mother’s Courage. The documentary chronicled the story of Margret and her son, Keli, a teenager with nonverbal autism.

Kate shares how she became emotionally invested in the family:

Through working on the film, I entered a new world of families with children who have autism, where the challenges they face daily are profound and overwhelming. The look on Keli’s face when he typed his first words to me touched me as a mother, and as a human being. I witnessed Margret discover her son after years of silence. As a mother of two very verbal, expressive, affectionate children, it wasn’t enough to provide this narration alone and to simply walk away.

Taking inspiration from Keli’s new ability to communicate and a poem he wrote about a magical Golden Hat. The hat that Keli described could help a boy without a voice to talk. Kate decided to send around one of her old hats and ask celebrities to take their self-portrait.  She asked that those who took a photograph while wearing the hat would think about those individuals with nonverbal autism and then express something important to them.

Margret begins her story with the following:

Imagine waking up in your bed, just as you are now, with all your mental capacity and intelligence. In your mind, you know that everything is the way it is supposed to be…except one thing. Your senses are all mixed up. You cannot see and hear at the same time. You only get a fragmented view of your environment. You have little sense of where your body is. You cannot speak. You have no voice.

Margret had been told that her son, Keli, only had the capacity of a 2-year old. This obviously tempered the way she treated him. It was incredible to read about how everything she thought she knew about her son was actually incorrect, like when she learned his favorite authors were Twain and Tolkien and not Teletubbies. I can hardly imagine how she must have felt when she realized so many new things about her son. Particularly heartbreaking was her description of some medical issues her son went through. A child without speech is exceedingly difficult to diagnose!

The more I read, the more I wanted to learn about her son’s story. In fact, I added her documentary to my Netflix queue. I can’t wait to watch it! I am interested to see how Keli progressed from nonverbal to communicating through the RPM (rapid prompting method) via HALO in Austin, Texas. I actually know a local family who utilized RPM and HALO and I can’t wait to learn more about it and about Keli’s journey into communication.  

I love how Margret ends her chapter:

Now imagine going to bed. Everything is as it is supposed to be, except one thing. Your senses are all mixed up. You sense your surroundings in a fragmented way. But you are assured. You know that you are among people who care for you. People who are willing to fight for you and do their best to lend you a voice. You close your eyes, knowing that when you wake up the next morning, you have the means to communicate your desires, wants, and feelings.

Now that’s something to be grateful for.

For me, The Golden Hat: Talking Back to Autism was well worth the read even if I hadn’t seen the pictures and quotes from the various celebrities. I was enthralled by the stories from Margret and Kate, and it was really interesting to read the various emails that went back and forth between them as the book idea and The Golden Hat Foundation came into existence. I love the genuine spirit between these women and know they have forged a friendship to be cherished.

I especially love that all of the proceeds from the book will benefit The Golden Hat Foundation, which seeks to build innovative living campuses for people with autism.

The celebrity photos and quotes are just icing on the cake. The sheer number of famous people who participated in Kate’s book project is pleasantly surprising. The book gives the feel of a more substantial coffee table book, with full color photography (albeit candid self-portraits taken with a point and shoot camera). Some celebrities really took the project’s intent to heart as they provided their quote. Others? Not so much. But, the result is an eclectic mix of perspective that is fun to read through.

Some of the most touching quotes are from individuals on the autism spectrum who are nonverbal.

At the age of 14, Keli communicated, “I am real.”

In response to the question, “What have you been doing all these years?”, 19-year old Dov said, “Listening.”

The Golden Hat: Talking Back to Autism is a book that I consider a conversation starter. If we have not been personally touched by a nonverbal child with autism, this book will serve as a great place to begin thinking and talking about it. And, it’s obviously fun to see some of your favorite celebs in personal moments (not airbrushed and perfectly coiffed).

Bravo to Kate Winslet for getting involved and trying to make a difference in the autism community, and kudos to Margret and Keli for serving as inspiration to other nonverbal autism families out there.

Disclaimer: Simon & Schuster, publisher of The Golden Hat, provided me with a copy of the book at no charge in exchange for my opinion and review.

Now, here’s where it gets exciting…

Since the copy I received will be donated to my nonprofit's lending library, Simon & Schuster agreed to send me another book to give away to one of my readers! Isn't that great?

You have an opportunity to win a copy of The Golden Hat! To enter, please follow the instructions below.   

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy First Blogiversary!

I thought I would do a musical number (of a sort) commemorating my first year anniversary of blogging here at Caffeinated Autism Mom.

To the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”…

(By the way, I’ll save you the agony of going through this the LONG way. I’ve written it as if you have reached the end of the song, when it runs down from 12 to 1. But, don't get confused by my numbers - they're my actual numbers and I didn't follow the regular 12 to 1. J) 

 ♪ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♫ ♬

On my first blogiversary, I thought I’d share with you:

     About 41,000 page visits

       679 Facebook Fans

         628 Twitter followers

           468 Blog post comments

             170 Posts written

               Over 100 topic labels  

                 Countless late nights writing

                   6 levels in the Pyramid of Craaaaaaaazyyyyyyyy

                     3 fun blog awards (...and Mom of the Month!)

                       2 awesome boys (and a hubby!)

                         1 essay published

                           And buckets of cooooffeeeeeeeeeeee!

I’ll share some of my favorite moments in the coming days. So, be watching for the blog rewind and reminisce with me!

This year has been a wonderful experience! I can’t wait to see what will happen in my second year of blogging. Thank you all so much for being here with me and sharing your time and your friendship. It means a lot.

An early present to myself

In less than 2 weeks I will celebrate one full year of blogging! It's kind of strange to think about. So much has happened in the past year and it's been quite an experience writing about things as I go. Thank you for joining me!

A couple of my blogger friends have been talking about giving themselves the gift of their own domain. Seeing as how my one-year anniversary is almost here, I looked into it. And...I took the plunge.

I am now the proud owner of my own domain!

www.caffeinatedautismmom.com

If you have my blog bookmarked, you may wish to update the address. It should also automatically redirect if you use the old address.

See ya next week!    

It's raining awards!

I wish it were raining $100 bills. That would be nice. I could pay off our new dishwasher that we had to buy because our old one was a piece of junk and I didn’t want to continue washing dishes by hand, and… Oh, wait. Sorry I was daydreaming for a moment.

It’s actually raining fun blogging awards! Back in May I got my first notification that I was being given a blogging award and I had no idea what to do. So, I didn’t do anything. You see, I was still a baby blogger back then and I was faking it ‘til I made it!

Fast forward 6 months and I’m finally figuring it out. I’m a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. Or maybe just tardy. (I think chronic lateness is a permanent side effect of my pregnancies.) Back in college I perfected the art of procrastination, and I’ve been an expert ever since. And, there may be a little bit of early-onset dementia rearing its ugly head in there somewhere. Whatever.

Three different blogging friends have bestowed three different blogging awards on me. It’s very cool that these gals thought of me and I appreciate it. Now I have to go through and try to answer all of the questions and jump through the little hoops of each award. So, here we go.

First up is the Stylish Blogger Award, given to me back in May. Yup. May. I know. I feel bad for taking so long. Now, first things first. When I hear the word “stylish,” I do NOT think of myself. Not one bit. So, it was a bit surprising to have someone think of me this way! Yay! There’s hope after all. Kathleen at Celiac Baby! gave me this surprising title. Thank you for that!

Next is the Blog on Fire Award, given to me in September by the fabulous Cari of Bubble Gum on My Shoe. I know I’m a procrastinator. (Just like with writing my guest post for her blog, too. Do you still love me, Cari? I have the idea, I promise. I just have to write it!) She has the patience of a saint, people. I don’t know why she even agreed to write the 2 guest posts on my blog that she has. I doubt she’ll ever write for me again unless I get my act together. I digress… So, with this award I am apparently a hot commodity. Hot? That goes right along with stylish in my book. Not gonna happen. But, she thinks I’ve got a good thing going here, so to that I say a sincere thank you to her for even thinking of me.

Last is the Liebster Award, very recently given to me by a dear friend of mine, Kate of Compulsively Writing Fiction. She and I met in college and became fast friends. She is now a published author (way to go, Kate!) and you should check her stuff out. Oh, and by the way, the Liebster award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers. Liebster is German and means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kindly, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. Wow. That’s a lot of nice stuff, isn’t it? Thank you, Kate. That means a lot coming from you, my dear.

Each of these awards has different “rules.” First I’m supposed to write something about myself. For the Stylish Blogger Award, I am supposed to write 7 things and for the Blog on Fire Award, it’s 5-7 things. No such requirement for the Liebster Award. All 3 awards indicate that I should name the next recipients – 10 for the Stylish Blogger Award, 1 for the Blog on Fire Award, and 5 for the Liebster Award. All of them are supposed to link back to the person who gave me the award (already checked that one off the list!). When I’m done with this post I am supposed to notify the new winners by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment.  

Since it’s my blog, I’ll accept the awards the way I want to (and I don’t want to be up until 3am typing). I am going to combine the part where I’m supposed to tell you about myself and do 7 total. Consolidation is a good thing, people. Besides, I don’t know if I could come up with more than that anyway. Then, instead of naming 16 different blogs all together, I will only name one recipient for each award. Yes, I’m a cheater and I’m okay with that.

Here are 7 things about you me that you might find interesting:

1.     I’m a bonafide matchmaker. I introduced my college roommate to her husband, who also happened to be one of my good friends from high school.

2.     I have an unhealthy obsession with kitchen gadgets and office supplies. Some women like shoes or makeup or jewelry. Me? Not so much. Give me an hour inside the Kitchen Collection factory outlet store or Staples and I’m in heaven. It’s like crack to me.
Ooooh! This gadget only has 1 use and I would only need it maybe once a year or so, but it’s soooo cool! I want it! I know I’ll use it eventually…
Wow, there are a lot of designer binder clips! Who knew they came in such cool colors and prints? I need them...and these neat organizing bins, too. I don’t have one in that size yet.

3.     I am royalty – the many generations removed, mutt variety. I’m distantly related to Mary Queen of Scots. Yes, that’s right. And, yes, she was executed for treason. But royalty is royalty, my friends.  

4.     I do not like boats. I live in the land of camping, fishing, hiking and boating, but I don’t like boats. Not one bit. My husband has romanticized about getting one when we “have money” and I think he’s figured it out by now that we will NEVER own one. Almost all the times I have been on a boat something has gone really wrong. Very seriously wrong. It’s like I step in and it’s jinxed. The propeller breaks in the middle of a huge lake, the oar mount comes loose as we are being swept out to sea with the tide… You name it. The only kind of boat I feel somewhat less anxious about are the big boats, like cruise ships and ferry boats.   

5.     I can physically pick my husband up off the ground. He’s 13 inches taller and 100 pounds heavier than me. I am that strong. It started out as a dare when we were engaged and hanging out with some friends. I shocked everyone there, and I did it more than once. Yes, indeed. Better not mess with this chick. Maybe I should train to be an Olympic power lifter? 

6.     I’ve always been a bit frumpy – and nothing has changed in that department. I have never fit with the “in” crown. Have I got a story for you! Here is proof: I was on a business trip about a year after I got married. I was staying in a swanky hotel in downtown San Francisco when a group of us gals who knew each other from across our respective region in the company decided to grab a cab and head out to a club. Mind you, I am not a clubbing type of gal. Never have been. I went along for the ride just to hang out with the girls. I thought, “Eh, no big deal.”

       We ended up in front of this place that had, I kid you not, Hells Angels posted outside as bouncers. With the leather vests, motorcycles and everything. I know! And, this was in the days before I had a cell phone. I wasn’t about to chicken out and be left by myself to catch a cab in downtown Frisco while standing next to some scary looking biker dudes. There was no turning back as we headed inside the club. All I remember is that the music made my ears feel like they could start bleeding at any moment, and there were a lot of goth type folks inside. Me? Are you kidding? I dressed up to go out! I was wearing my business casual slacks, a business-y blouse and a black cardigan, wearing a strand of freshwater pearls, some sensible shoes, and carrying a doctor-bag purse. Yep. So NOT cool. I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was feeling very self-conscious and was wildly trying to keep eyes on my friends so I didn’t lose them in the pressing crowd. They were dancing and having a good time. Then something strange occurred. A guy asked me to dance. This was the first time since high school! I decided I would accept the guy’s offer to dance because he looked fairly normal and he was respectful toward me. And, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I was a happily married woman proudly wearing my ring (and it’s no slouch, so it was easily noticeable). I figured it would only be 3 minutes of my life. Which leads me to my next point:  

7.     I cannot dance. At all. Well, maybe in my car. But, if I try to dance in a “regular” way I look like a complete dweeb. I can kind of move around a bit, but there is no flair whatsoever. It’s less like Elaine from Seinfeld and more like a wallflower attempting to quietly groove to the music. So, to end the story (I wouldn’t want to leave you hanging), our group left the club shortly thereafter with deaf ears and no incidences requiring the Hells Angels involvement. Oh, and the best part? My husband’s reaction when I called him the next day to tell him about how I danced with a guy in a club with Hells Angels out front. That. was. priceless.

My picks for the new recipients of the awards are:

Stylish Blogger Award: Haydn’s World – A good daddy blog is rare and this one is a gem. I am awarding Ryan the Stylish Blogger Award because he has such a unique perspective and a thorough yet well-spoken style of writing. He offers a great glimpse into the process of raising a son with Asperger Syndrome.   

Blog on Fire Award: Raising Complicated Kids – The Accidental Expert offers an easy flair to her writing about life with kids who have multiple special needs, like Asperger’s, bipolar and ADHD. Her posts are just plain fun to read. I’m awarding her the Blog on Fire Award because she’s doing such a great job!  

Liebster Award: OK. I know I said I was only going to list one winner per award, but I really couldn’t pick between 2 great blogs. So, it’s a double whammy! I guess that makes me less of a cheater now for skimping on the winners… J In no particular order the winners are:

Running to Be Still – Krismac is a mom to a son with autism. There is a true genuine nature to her writing. I like that she isn’t afraid to share some of her more tender moments with her son.

Four Sea Stars – Lizbeth has 3 young kids, 1 with Asperger’s. Her approach is open and humorous. I can laugh and relate because I have so been there.

All of these blogs are well worth the time to go visit! Read them, leave comments, and let them know I sent you!

One last time I’d like to say a sincere thank you to the bloggers who gave me these awards. I am so happy to pass them on to the next group of folks. My job here is done.   

The Big Giveaway!

A couple of weeks ago, I put out a challenge to my lovely Facebook friends. If we could increase our numbers to 200 on the Caffeinated Autism Mom Facebook page by the end of August, I promised to do a giveaway. Well, the blog was shared, people found the page and clicked “Like,” and little by little our numbers increased. We met and exceeded the goal by the deadline! I’m so proud of my caffeinated peeps! You guys rock.

You may recall my post from one month ago, “Call me Author.” In that post, I shared with you that I had my story published in Hartley Steiner’s new book, Sensational Journeys: 48 Personal Stories of Sensory Processing Disorder. Today is the day that the book officially becomes available!

Can you imagine how I would like to celebrate this momentous occasion? A giveaway, of course!    

So, here is the deal. I’m going to give away 1 copy of the book, Sensational Journeys. And, if the winner would like, I'll even sign it. (Wow, that's weird for me to think about!) Anyway, your job is super easy.

This is all you have to do to enter:

1.       "Like" Caffeinated Autism Mom on Facebook. If you already like the blog on Facebook, then go immediately to step 2!

2.       Leave a comment at the bottom of this post. In your comment, please share why you would like the book and also list your name as it appears on Facebook.

Comments left on Facebook are always appreciated, but they will not be considered entries for this contest. Only comments left below this post will count. One entry/comment per person.

Once you have Liked the blog’s Facebook page AND left a comment, you are entered to win! It’s that easy!

The giveaway will be open from 9/1/11 through 9/15/11, ending at 10pm Pacific Time.

I will read all of your comments and select the winner. I reserve the right to ask my hubby for help and/or have my kids choose one randomly if I am stumped by your collective awesomeness. J

The winner will be announced on Monday, 9/19/11.

Depending on the response we get to this contest, I may elect to have a second contest in the near future. We’ll just have to see…

Good luck to everyone and thank you for reading Caffeinated Autism Mom!

Oh! And by the way, even if you don’t win the book, I hope you have a chance to read Sensational Journeys. Feel free to check it out by clicking on the picture below.

Book Review: The Way I Act

At the end of May I won a book giveaway from Age of Autism and received a copy of The Way I Act by Steve Metzger (verses) and Janan Cain (illustrations). I have been meaning to review it for quite a while, but as of yet had not taken the time…until now. Yes, it’s true. I’ve been slacking. It’s been known to happen on occasion. Besides, I've been mitigating the craziness of summer break! 

First of all, let me just say a huge thank you to the great folks at Age of Autism for not only having the giveaway, but somehow picking me as the lucky winner! You have no idea how exciting it is for me to receive a book in the mail. It’s like Christmas! You should have seen me when I got my author’s copy of Sensational Journeys. (For those of you who are not aware, I am a contributing author. Isn’t that super cool? I’m still doing a happy dance over that little tidbit.)

Anyway, I have a slight book problem. I love books, but I never have enough time to read them all. I continue to buy them whenever I have two pennies to rub together. I keep reminding my hubby that “it’s for the families” (meaning I will buy it for myself and then make it available in my support group’s lending library). It’s justified, right? Maybe this book obsession could even be considered honorable! OK, I’ll stop now. Getting back to the topic at hand…

The first thing I noticed when I received The Way I Act was how vibrant the colors were on the cover art. It had immediately grabbed my eye in a positive way. Prince Charming happened to be in the room when I opened the package and he caught a glimpse of it at the same time I did. Within seconds, he was at my side clamoring to look at the book. Prince Charming's reading skills have really blossomed in the past year. He is finally showing an interest in books, which I am thankful for. So, before I could even open it or read it, I handed it off to him and he climbed up into Titan’s lap and snuggled in for some reading time.

He opened the book and it captured his attention right away. He began to read the words and Titan helped him with the more difficult ones. He had great satisfaction when he could turn to the next page. When he finished the book, he asked to read it again. And he liked it. When he was done reading it the second time through, I saw him continue to flip through the pages while he looked at the illustrations. I think he really appreciated the colorful pictures.

I have to say that the illustrations are my favorite part of the book. They are captivating. My next favorite part of the book is the cadence of the verses. I think we can all agree that books are much more fun to read when they have a rhythm to the words.

The Way I Act covers 13 different ways to behave in a positive manner. As many of you are aware with autism, it’s harder for a child to grasp the “no” and the “do not” rules. They have more success when there is an example of what is “yes” and “to do” instead of only focusing on the negative behavior. Words like considerate, cooperative, and respectful are all concepts that I want my children familiar with. These words (and more) are addressed in the book with some ideas on what each of the words mean in action.

There is also a note for parents in the back of the book that provides 4 tips on how to better use the book as a teaching tool with your child.

Overall, the book is fun to look at and fun to read and it easily moves you toward discussion about the concepts presented. I have not read the previous book, The Way I Feel, but I can imagine that it would also be a worthwhile book to have. I’m sure my boys would love it.

The Way I Act is mom approved AND Prince Charming approved! It doesn’t get much better than that.

To take a look at the book more closely and read other reviews, click on the picture to the left. And, while you’re at it, visit Parenting Press to learn more about the other titles they have available.           

Call me Author

Call me Author. Or call me Ishmael. Or just Angela. Although, Author does have a nice ring to it!

I am happy to announce that my story will be included in the new book, Sensational Journeys by Hartley Steiner. The book will feature stories from many different families and their journey with sensory processing disorder. My particular story discusses both autism and SPD.

I can hardly believe that I’m officially a contributing author in an actual book. I should receive my author’s copy any day now. It makes me giddy just writing those words!

The book will be available one month from today, on September 1^st.

Amazon has the book discounted for presale for a few cents over $10! What a bargain!

I will be doing an interview with the author and there may even be a giveaway of the book. I’ll keep you in the loop as all the details get worked out.

Now, click on the picture to the left and go check it out!