Making the world better

After a stressful week, I was bracing myself for what I thought would inevitably be a bad day. I've been spending some late nights stressing over the details of my nonprofit, knowing that I can only do so much as one person, while always wishing that I could do more. I am forever dreaming of how my life would be easier if I could only clone myself, just to help alleviate some of the heavy burdens I bear with my family, as well as the volunteer work that I am so passionate about. I'm not proud to say that at one particularly low, yet fleeting, moment while in my car contemplating the zillions of things tumbling around in my brain, I succumbed to the overwhelming need to cry. It stopped almost as fast as it began, but I guess my body had reached its maximum at that moment and needed to release whatever was pent up inside. Needless to say, I didn't hold any high hopes for the day after that.

Then, it seemed that the proverbial clouds parted. What started out seemingly dreary, turned out to be about as good as any day could have been.

One of the highlights of my day was a meeting I had with one of our nonprofit's partners, which is another local nonprofit. I won't bore you with the details (which I personally find fascinating), but the time we spent was very fruitful, and many ideas were shared, plans were made, and we parted with a renewed commitment to what we are endeavoring to do together.

However, the best part of the entire conversation was how our respective mission statements align in the idea that we are looking to change the way the community, John Q. Public, views special needs. Rather than special needs (like autism and others) marking a difference that separates and ostracizes, wouldn't it be great if special needs were normalized in such a way that the entire community helped to advocate, and in doing so, created an environment of inclusion? We had some discussion about the nuts of bolts of this kind of vision for the future, and it all comes down to thinking about what your dream is.

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What is the big picture? What do you want to accomplish? How are you going to work to make the world better for the thing you are most passionate about?

I left the meeting feeling invigorated, with a renewed sense of purpose. It added fuel to my fire, and my head was spinning with possibilities and inspiration.

Then, many other things fell into place today in just the right way with my schedule and "to do" list, and I ended up being phenomenally productive. It was odd...but I wasn't going to question it. I just wanted to ride the wave of a good day.

When the boys got home, I found out that they both had a decent day at school, that they had finished their schoolwork early (by some apparent miracle) and neither had any homework to do. The best part? They were in good enough moods that they didn't automatically catapult into their usual bickering and fighting mode after they got home. That in and of itself was a moment of relief.

We had an appointment to go to, and due to the timing of it, by the time we had to head back home it put us right in the thick of rush hour when all the commuters are heading home from their jobs in Seattle. If there's one thing you can count on in Seattle, the traffic sucks pretty much all the time. The particular area I had to travel through is known for its slowdowns, so I had no expectations of getting home at a decent time. I have learned to take the back roads, but even they can get backed up. To make matters worse, my tummy was protesting the fact that I hadn't had time to consume any food of substance all day, besides the quick coffee I grabbed after my meeting.

Remembering that I had forgotten to take something out for dinner and that we desperately needed to go to the grocery store, I was overcome with a craving for pizza. I didn't want to scrounge around for something to make for dinner when we got home! I called Titan and tried to tell him in code (so listening little ears wouldn't freak out with excitement...or dismay if plans fell through) that I wanted to meet him for pizza on our way home. Using euphemistic terms, we hatched a sly plan for remedying my hungry stomach. There is one place that is our favorite for gluten-free pizza, and that's where we headed. Luckily, there was no fighting between the boys in the car like usual, so I wasn't a complete stress case when we arrived. Traffic was actually decent, too! I was looking forward to an enjoyable meal with some of my favorite food.

After we sat down and placed our order, Prince Charming started talking. Mind you, he hadn't really conversed since we got to the restaurant.

All of a sudden he said, "Mommy?"
"Yes, sweetheart," I replied.
"I'm going to make the world a better place."

His eyes were really bright and sincere and he gave me the biggest grin, displaying his dimple. I melted on the spot.

It's almost as if he had been reading my thoughts and had been sitting in on my meeting. I don't think it was a coincidence. I think God gives us little moments like these to help us know we are on the right path. It's exactly what I needed.

I have no doubt that my little guy will make a difference in the world, and that the world will be a better place because he is in it. And, I too will try my best to make the world a better place. I'm already working on it. I can only hope that my boys will see the fruits of my labor someday.

What is your passion? What inspires you to make the world a better place?

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Not-So-Caffeinated Autism Mom

About a week ago on Facebook I shared the following with you: “Confession: For the past 2 weeks I’ve been drinking decaf. The shock! The horror!” I was quite amused by your responses! From your comments, as well as comments from some of my own friends locally, I’ve gotten the tongue-in-cheek question, “Are you going to change your name to Decaffeinated Autism Mom?”

     
One word: NO! I am still your favorite hard-core coffee junkie that you have come to know over the past year. So, let me give you a little history on what’s been going on.

I have been working very hard, just like every other stay-at-home mom out there. Trying to keep the children alive and the house from falling apart can be a challenge for anyone. As you know, I also run a special needs support group and that takes time. And, in all of my additional spare time (LOL!), I recently took on the role of Executive Director at my own nonprofit organization. The nonprofit involves volunteers, a Board of Directors, meetings, work parties, hard work, energy, and LOTS of time. Trying to squeeze the duties of a full-time job into the few minutes and hours I can spare out of my day (or the wee hours of the morning) has been a challenge.

Health wise I’ve struggled with many things, like: allergies, migraines, reflux, etc. In helping my boys, I’ve learned a lot about how to approach health from a more natural perspective. I have been able to take myself off of all of the medications I had been on for a very long time. Things have been fairly good since that time, except for the fact that my weight never seems to budge. Genetics are certainly not helping in that department!

As I’ve taken on more and more responsibility and stress in the past year, I’ve been noticing the return and slow progression of some of my old symptoms. I knew that I didn’t want to go down the road of meds again, but I also wasn’t making a concerted effort to change things either. I’m lazy when it comes to myself. I admit that.

I go to great lengths to do what is best for my boys’ health and properly manage their specialized diet. After all of that effort for them, I don’t really want to make the same effort for myself. Yep. Lazy. And it caught up with me.

It was getting to the point where I wasn’t having any days where I felt good. I knew that I had to finally do something and make myself a priority. I knew if I didn’t, I could end up like my mom. She has very poor health and is now disabled. I don’t want to follow in her footsteps.

New Years came around. You may recall that I don't make resolutions. I create change. My change for 2012? Get better control of my health again.

It had been such a long time since I had been in to see my naturopath that my chart was in archives. Shame on me. No wonder I was having trouble! After sharing my laundry list of symptoms and concerns, guess what happened? My doctor placed me on a restricted diet.

NO flour. NO sugar. NO juice. NO alcohol. NO gluten.

Oh crap. It stung when she told me. I am a serious carb and sugar addict. Always have been. I can live without juice and alcohol (well, mostly…), but carbs and sugar? I am already quite the gluten-free expert, so I wasn’t worried about finding whole gluten-free grains to eat. But, seriously? No sugar and no flour? Kill me now.

I will admit that in the week leading up to getting lots of blood work done (and the deadline to start my new diet), I binged on sugar and flour. Pasta, I’m going to miss you! Nom nom nom. Cake, you are so delicious! Nom nom nom. Looking back, it was juvenile and disgusting. At one point, I ate dessert until it made me feel nauseatingly ill. I was ready to make the change. And I did. And I’ve been a good girl!

It’s been about a month since I started this new dietary lifestyle. Most of my symptoms are gone. Surprisingly, positive changes began happening within the first 24 hours of starting the new diet. It has certainly not been easy, but it’s been necessary. And, I feel so much better!

One new thing I’ve discovered is that I cannot tolerate caffeine as well as I used to. It had never affected me before. I used to be able to drink coffee at any point during the day, right up until bedtime, and have no ill effects. Now that my body has much less internal inflammation, I can immediately tell when I’ve had caffeine. I made the mistake of drinking 4 cups of coffee during breakfast one morning and I felt sick until late that afternoon. Since then, I switched to either half-decaf or decaf. I still get my coffee fix without feeling awful. Maybe this is a temporary thing while I work out the rest of my symptoms. Only time will tell.

I think I’ll go grab a cup of coffee now!

An early present to myself

In less than 2 weeks I will celebrate one full year of blogging! It's kind of strange to think about. So much has happened in the past year and it's been quite an experience writing about things as I go. Thank you for joining me!

A couple of my blogger friends have been talking about giving themselves the gift of their own domain. Seeing as how my one-year anniversary is almost here, I looked into it. And...I took the plunge.

I am now the proud owner of my own domain!

www.caffeinatedautismmom.com

If you have my blog bookmarked, you may wish to update the address. It should also automatically redirect if you use the old address.

See ya next week!    

Happy 2012!

It’s the beginning of a New Year! Last night I got to thinking about 2011 and how, once again, things didn’t turn out the way I expected. But you know what? I’m actually happy that my wishes didn’t all come true. Want to know why? Because for the umpteenth time, God has proven to me that His plan is better than mine. My year actually went better than I could have expected, and although it wasn’t without struggle, God always provided for our family.

My mother-in-law told me several years ago that there is no such thing as a coincidence. Instead, coincidence is actually a “God-incidence.” Those words rang true in my heart and have been a source of comfort to me ever since.   

One highlight of 2011 was starting this blog back in January. It seemed to be an inadvertent whim at the time. I certainly didn’t set out to be a mommy blogger. I didn’t plan to hurt my back and be bored silly because I couldn’t move. But, things happened. And, I’m here. And, you’re here. With me. And, that is truly awesome!

Blogging helped me rediscover my love for writing, which is something I had stuffed away for many years. It gave me the nerve to try writing an essay for inclusion in a book, and the publisher was crazy enough to include my essay in the book! Talk about a dream come true! I’m a bonafide author, of a sort…  

A blessing in disguise was the fact that I didn’t find a job. It didn’t seem very nice at the time and was a huge source of frustration! Despite some great experience and education, I was apparently unemployable. It was hard to deal with the fact that I didn’t even get a single interview despite extensive efforts to find work. That had never been a problem for me before. Ever. That was a tough pill to swallow.  

When we were first married, Titan and I agreed that if we were able to, it was important that I stay at home with our children until they were at least old enough to attend full-day school. As a result, I have been a stay-at-home mom since I had Monkey almost 9 years ago. In the summer of 2010, Titan and I made the decision to get serious about finding a bigger house and we began actively preparing our house to sell. We managed to find our dream home in the best school district in our area, so we had a goal to work toward.

The one thing standing in the way of our dream was that we couldn’t do it all on one income, and I would need to get a job to help pay for it. I was excited about the idea of returning to work. But, as you know, that didn’t pan out. In the meantime, our house continued to decline in value due to the crazy economy and we watched our equity quickly vanish. Now we are in the unfortunate position of not being able to sell without losing money. That’s not a good feeling, but we also know it is not uncommon right now. Remembering that God works in mysterious ways has enabled me to come to terms with the fact that my plan did not materialize in the way I thought it would, and it probably won’t for a very long time. 

Feeling the need to do something (beyond staying up late at night to write blog posts!), I decided to start a nonprofit organization for special needs families. I realized that I could do something I love, even if I was unpaid, and create my own dream job. Why not? I didn’t really have anything to lose! And, I would have never even tried something so crazy, had my plans not failed so miserably. 

You cannot even imagine the things that fell into place to get the ball rolling on the nonprofit! So many things happened in such a miraculous way that I know for certain that I am doing what I should be doing and it’s happening at the right time. And, I am excited to be a part of it. My hope is that one day I will get paid, but for now, I’m happy that I am at least able to tap into my passion for the special needs community and build something great.

God continues to provide and that’s all I can ask for. I believe that everything else will follow in God’s timing and I can’t wait to see what that will look like. Even if I rebel and feel disappointment that things aren’t always “going my way,” I know that in the end, lessons will be learned and blessings will flow from those difficult moments.

As long as I don’t force my own agenda and allow God to work, I know things will be better than I could have imagined. I learned this lesson when I met my incredible husband. Since I tend to be a Type-A control freak, this is a lesson that God continues to teach me all the time. Maybe one day I’ll get it through my thick skull and just make it easier on myself!

So, I intentionally choose to begin this year with a sense of peace and hopeful expectation that things will not go according to my plan and desire, but instead be true to the path that God has for me. I know there will be a lot of hard work and challenges ahead in 2012, but I truly cannot wait to see what blessings will pour forth.

Wishing you all the best for 2012,
Happy New Year!

-Angela       



Living without a microwave

In January I wrote a post about resolutions and how our family was instituting some permanent changes to the way we cook for 2011. As part of that, we made the decision to get rid of our microwave and replace it with a large convection toaster oven. I was a bit hesitant to take the plunge because I knew it would make things less convenient for us, but my husband and I agreed that it was a good decision for our family.

In case you aren’t aware, microwave ovens actually destroy the nutrients in your food and can have other harmful effects. Dr. Mercola wrote a great piece on the various hazards of using a microwave. Here are a few quotes I pulled from the article:

Microwaves heat food by causing water molecules in it to resonate at very high frequencies and eventually turn to steam which heats your food. While this can rapidly heat your food, what most people fail to realize is that it also causes a change in your food’s chemical structure.

According to Powerwatch, a non-profit independent organization with a central role in the microwave radiation debate:

“Even when the microwave oven is working correctly, the microwave levels within the kitchen are likely to be significantly higher than those from any nearby cellular phone base-stations. Remember also that microwaves will travel through walls if the microwave oven is against an inside wall.”

The handful of studies that have been done generally agree, for the most part, that microwaving food damages its nutritional value. Your microwave turns your beautiful, organic veggies, for which you’ve paid such a premium in money or labor, into “dead” food that can cause disease!

When I began my search, I was looking for a toaster oven with convection that was large enough to fit a 9 x 13 pan or my large skillet. I also wanted a model with lots of positive consumer reviews because I had never used a toaster oven before and I needed as much information as possible. We ended up buying an extra large Oster like the one pictured here.

At first it took a little while to get used to how much time things would take to make. It was no longer a simple matter of throwing something in to be reheated or cooked really fast. It took more effort and planning but the results were better than I expected. Now I don’t even think twice about the time.  

We’ve had the toaster oven for more than 4 months now and we’ve fully adjusted to our new way of life. I hardly ever use my regular oven now. It uses less energy than my standard oven and the convection feature helps cook things faster and more evenly.

To solidify our commitment to the microwave-free lifestyle, we gave away our old microwave! Some of my friends think I am absolutely, positively nuts. My friends who are much more fluent in natural health than I am wonder why it took me so long to get rid of my microwave.

Do you think you could live without your microwave?       

Are you skinnier and more organized yet?

It's the last day of January. How many New Year's resolutions did you make and break? My record is perfect - zero made, zero broken. But, I've made changes! The following is a re-post of an entry I did earlier this month on my local support group's blog. I thought I'd recycle this one for the Caffeinated Autism Mom crowd. Find out why I don't make resolutions anymore. Enjoy! 

Well, here we are. It's 2011. Once again, it’s time to plan how we will fill the blank pages of a new year. I went out to shop some of the after Christmas sales and found that a majority of the stores already had made the move from Santa’s red and green Wonderland to the Pepto-Bismol pink glow of Valentine’s Day. Besides the change in holidays, I repeatedly saw items related to fitness and organization. There were stacks and rows of plastic storage tubs and boxes, wicker baskets, yoga mats, water bottles, heart rate monitors and more. Does everyone in the US resolve to the do same thing year after year? Get fit! Get organized!  Are we that predictable? 

I think so. I was one of those people. Every year I would resolve to be healthier, among other lofty and unattainable goals. Inevitably, I would disappoint myself. My resolutions were typically busted by the second week of January. What can I say? Willpower is not my forte.

Things changed for me about 5 years ago when my husband was diagnosed with lymphoma. For his 30th birthday, the gift he got was recuperation from surgery and the anticipation of chemotherapy and radiation. Needless to say, it was not a banner year for us. However, something happened to me that changed me forever. In my quest to help my husband, I opened my eyes, ears, and mind to things I never gave a second thought to before.

It was this forced awakening about things like toxic load that prepared me to make significant changes when we received the diagnosis for our boys. In learning about autism and changes I might need to make for our kids, I realized I’d done this before. It wasn’t as overwhelming the second time around. Yes, it sucks and it’s really hard, but I’m a combat veteran from cancer. I got this! At least I hoped I did.

Where to begin? Clean up your environment. What do you eat? What do you drink? What do you put on your body? What do you allow into your home? Changes are needed in droves! Cue the resolutions!

As I mentioned before, resolutions and I don’t usually get along. So instead of resolutions, I now make an agreement with my husband about what issue we want to take on over the course of a year. Then we set out to do the things necessary related to that issue. You know, accountability. Two heads are better than one. That kind of thing. And, these ideas are permanent changes that we incorporate into our lifestyle. Resolutions don’t work for us, but tangible planning in unison does. What does this look like in action, you ask? Well…

Three years ago we dealt with the air we breathe. We installed a hospital-grade whole house air filtration system. We also bought in-room air ionizers and several Himalayan salt lamps.

Two years ago, we tackled food and chemicals. We had already made the switch to mostly organic produce the year before, but then I made a newly concerted effort to buy exclusively organic products whenever possible. We’re talking organic grass-fed meat, wild-caught fish, free-range organic poultry and eggs, replacing all of my spices with organic ones (which aren’t irradiated!), etc. We switched out all of our cleaning products, detergents, beauty products, etc., to ones that are plant-based, non-toxic and non-chemical. I even went so far as to carry the new standards over to my lawn and yard care products. Chemicals be gone!

Last year we focused on water. We installed charcoal filters on our shower heads to filter out the chlorine that our body was exposed to both topically and as a gas when we took a shower. We had already made the switch from tap water (chock full of fluoride and chlorine!) to spring water with naturally occurring minerals and a pH just a hair on the alkaline side of neutral. We used spring water for drinking and cooking, and typically went through a gallon a day, sometimes more. That gets expensive, especially when the government enacts a water tax on every ounce of bottled water you buy. As a result of the tax, something we’d talked about before as a “wouldn’t it be great?” item for the house became much more reasonable to entertain. We ran the numbers and decided to buy an atmospheric water generator. Yes folks, we make our own water from the air. It’s filtered in a multi-step process (reverse osmosis, UV, etc.), it adds minerals back in, and it has instant cold and instant hot spigots that you can set to whatever temperatures your heart desires. No more tea kettle for me! Now I water my plants with this water, we cook with it, we drink it, and not only is it good, we know it’s safe.

Now, we’re here at the dawn of 2011. What’s the plan for this year? We’re changing how we cook. I just bought some frying pans that don’t release PTFE when heated. The old non-stick pans are gone! I already acquired some cast iron and stainless steel pans over the past few years, and we’ve switched our daily usage containers from plastic to glass. We also took a big risk to our sense of convenience, and unplugged the microwave. I bought a toaster oven that has convection, and will use it to replace my dying toaster and my food-destroying microwave. It’s also large enough to replace my oven on most things (which will save energy). There will definitely be a learning curve here, as we’ve come to rely on the ease of tossing something into the microwave at the last minute. This change will require a little bit more planning and time, but we agree that it’s a good change and we’re willing to take the plunge.

The kinds of changes we’ve made at our house are much too intense to take on all at one time. By breaking things down into steps we can manage, we continue to better our household without incurring major sticker shock. It’s much easier and less overwhelming that way. I wonder what we’ll change for 2012? Who knows? I’ve got a whole year to think about it, and besides, I need to become an expert with my new style of cooking first.

Here’s to resolving to make permanent changes! Happy New Year!