Did Daddy Have Cancer?

Last night we went on a family walk as the sun was setting. Near our house there is an area that was under development and was quickly abandoned as the housing market fell apart in recent years. There are sidewalks and trees, and it is set back from the main road. It makes for a serene, enclosed space that lends itself well to family time. We have had some excellent walks there on the long summer nights, and it’s a great place for the kids to get their energy out before bed.

Just before we left our house to take a walk, I had been watching a documentary on Netflix called “Dying to Have Known” about cancer treatments and whether or not the Gerson therapeutic approach can improve health and cure cancer. It was interesting to me because of my husband’s experience with lymphoma back when our boys were very little.

As I expected, when the boys heard the TV, they came out to check what I was watching in case they were missing something. They ended up watching almost the entire last hour of the documentary with me. I have no idea what piqued their interest, but I was glad to have their company. I figured, if nothing else, it might give them reason to ask me questions. Unlike most neurotypical kids, my boys don’t seem to ask a lot of questions, and I have to really make a concerted effort to have these kinds of interactions with them.

So after the movie concluded, we left for our walk. As we got underway, I was recounting part of the documentary to Titan, who missed most of the movie. I briefly spoke about how the work of Dr. Gerson* and Dr. Burzynski* are not viewed favorably in the mainstream medical community, much like how “alternative” autism treatments such as the GFCF diet are viewed with the same disdain, despite a lot of evidence about their efficacy. (*The documentaries, “The Gerson Miracle” and “Burzynski” can be instantly viewed on Netflix.)

I was reminding Titan about how his doctor got upset when he lost weight by eating raw foods, taking supplements and juicing while he was undergoing chemotherapy. The doctor was concerned that his weight loss would make him sicker from the chemo. 

Monkey interrupted us and asked who we were talking about.

“I’m talking about Daddy.”

“Oh. Wait… What? Why was the doctor upset with him? Was he sick?”

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“Yes, Daddy was sick a long time ago. The doctor didn’t like what we were doing to help Daddy’s body stay strong during his treatment. But, Daddy’s better now, so everything is fine.”  

“What was wrong with Daddy?”

“Well, he had cancer. He doesn’t have it anymore. He’s okay.”

I could see the wheels turning in his mind as he remembered the movie we had just watched and all of its talk about cancer. I could see it was troubling him and he started to walk slightly faster so that he could avoid me seeing his face. He tries to cope with emotions by avoiding eye contact because it gets very uncomfortable very quickly for him.

I’ve often heard people say that those with autism have dulled emotional responses, but from my experience I can tell you that I believe that sometimes the surge of emotions can be overwhelming and they are responding in those ways due to a feeling of chaos and lack of control. I think people with autism may feel even more emotion than you or I, and they simply can’t handle the way it makes them feel. Monkey will do whatever he can to avoid emotion, but sometimes it can hit him very, very hard. So, I respected the subtle nonverbal clues he was sending me about how the subject of his dad having cancer was difficult to process.

“Did Daddy really have cancer? What kind of cancer was it?”

“Yes, he did. He had lymphoma.”

Titan jumped in and asked Monkey if he could remember the scar on his body, and told him that the scar came from a surgery where they removed his tumors. He also talked about the blue tattoo dots on his chest that were used to align the radiation machine.

“How old was I when this happened?”

“Well, your brother was a baby…about 6 months old. You were 2 years older than that. You were really young, which is why you don’t remember any of this. We haven’t really talked about it with you because it happened a while ago. Daddy is fine now. So, please don’t worry.”  

“Okay.”

His pace slowed back down a little bit as his emotions began to calm. I figured the door was open, so maybe we should expand the conversation.

“You know you can ask me a question about anything whenever you want, right? Is there anything that you want to ask me about right now? Maybe about Daddy, or autism, or something else?”

“Yes. Why am I allergic to wheat?”

I explained to him that his food allergies are something he was born with, much like my allergies to pollen, and that the special diet is helping his body and brain. I also told him that the allergies are part of his autism and that when he is on the diet, his autism is better. This, obviously, led to the next question…

“Will I have autism and food allergies for the rest of my life, or will they be cured?”

I told him that much like with cancer, some people can get better and some do not, and that this can also apply to things like autism and food allergies. Some people have to stay on a special diet for their whole lives, and that we didn’t know yet if that was the case for him or for his brother. We talked about how the diet has helped his body, his brain, and his autism, and that he needed to stick with it for a while longer.

We talked for several more minutes and I tried to involve Prince Charming as much as I could. I made sure to specifically ask him if he had questions about his autism or anything else. He understands that he has autism, but gets easily confused about the fact that autism is a condition that affects his body and brain, and that it isn’t something more concrete like a local event we have called Autism Day. So, I talked with him about how some kids have autism and some don’t, and reminded him about how we like to visit and play with our friends that have autism at some of the special events we go to.

I know that in time his understanding will expand. All I need to do is keep talking with both the boys and encourage questions in those distraction-free times, such as family walks in the evening.

How do you talk with your kids about autism?          

Parenthood and the cancer diagnosis

Lately, every time I sit down to watch the NBC show, Parenthood, I am in tears by the end of the episode. And, it’s not just a girly hormonal thing.

Generally speaking, I enjoy the show because they incorporate a lot of relevant topics, weaving them throughout their episodes. Things like: adoption, military/PTSD, Asperger Syndrome, and the larger concept of family.

Their recent story line with Kristina getting breast cancer has touched me. Deeply.

As with most people, I have a family connection to cancer. I have seen loved ones pass away from the ravages of this disease, and it isn’t pretty. It’s never pretty.

I have dealt with my own husband getting a cancer diagnosis just before his 30^th birthday.

It was the most difficult time of my life. That seems almost dumb to say because I wasn’t the one who had to deal with cancer – surgery, bone marrow biopsy, scans of all kinds, chemotherapy, radiation and more scans.

I cannot even imagine what Titan must have gone through in those moments by himself.

That’s what I was thinking of as I watched the last scene of the “Together” episode of Parenthood, when Adam was sitting with Kristina in the infusion room, holding her hand while her first round of chemotherapy was administered.


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I did not get the opportunity to be there with my husband as he went through the process, and it hurts me to this day. It was just not possible.

I wasn’t there when he got a terrible chemical burn when the chemo blew through his vein and destroyed the tissue inside his hand – which still bothers him to this day. I wasn’t there when they began diluting the chemo because of how much it burned going in, which took 2-3 times longer to administer. I wasn’t there when he felt immediately nauseous whenever he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. I wasn’t there when he almost walked away from his last round of chemo because they couldn’t find a vein and he had to spend hours at 2 different hospitals just trying to get the IV set. I wasn’t there when he got the tattoos on his chest to calibrate the radiation machine. I wasn’t there because I couldn’t be.    

We didn’t have much help during that time. It was pretty much us against the world. I had to take care of my non-stop toddler and screaming baby during Titan’s treatment. It didn’t help that the kids and I were chronically sick the entire time he received chemo. We had one cold after another after another. Titan had to wear a surgical mask whenever he entered our house. For months. Even if I had been able to secure a babysitter to watch the boys while I went with Titan to the hospital, I couldn’t be there because I was a germy threat to each person that had a compromised immune system.

Titan after a round of chemotherapy - December 2005

 

It felt terrible knowing that I was stuck at home and my husband had to go through treatment completely alone. As his wife, it cut me to the core. And there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

At the time, Monkey was in the thick of the terrible two’s, which we later found out was autism. Prince Charming was only a few months old, and he didn’t sleep, had terrible reflux despite breastfeeding, and he cried all the time. Of course, now we know he had undiagnosed food allergies and autism.

Every single day was intensely challenging, and if I managed to get a couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, I counted myself lucky. Dealing with Titan’s cancer in the middle of all of that was just one more layer of chaos to a life that already felt completely out of control.

I was trying to figure out how to parent my children, who both seemed like unsolvable puzzles. I was trying to care for my husband who still had to work and support us, and couldn’t really help me with the kids or the house. All I could do was educate myself about cancer and treatments. I felt that if I couldn’t be there in person to show my support and sit with him for the hours he had to be there, I could show support from home by learning as much as possible to help him.

During the course of my husband’s diagnosis, surgery and treatment, we made a conscious decision to not focus on being scared or sad, but to maintain a positive and proactive approach. We did not grieve the diagnosis or dwell on anything that could go wrong. We both knew that Titan had to stick around and that there were no other options, so we agreed on maintaining that attitude and asked God to help make our faith a reality.

When we sat in the room with the doctor and went over the results that showed the presence of cancer, we accepted the diagnosis with a smile and not tears. Our response was unsettling to the doctor, who scolded us for not taking things seriously.

It was then that I became educated.   

Up to that point, I was staunchly mainstream with all of my ideas about medicine, food, and doctors. Everything I thought I knew was challenged. And, that is when it all changed for me.  

I learned the difference between vegetarian, vegan and raw. I learned what a naturopath does. I learned that there are stores dedicated only to supplements, vitamins and nutrition. I learned about acid-alkaline balance. I learned that charities like the American Cancer Society and Susan G. Komen are not all they’re cracked up to be. I learned that there is a difference between juice you buy at the grocery store and juice you make at home with a fancy machine.

I learned so many things!

I tried to use this knowledge for my husband’s benefit as he dealt with cancer. He lost 30 pounds, he lowered his cholesterol significantly without prescription medication, and he didn’t lose his hair as they promised us he would (although it did thin a bit). The doctors were extremely worried about his weight loss, and we were able to convince them that it was actually a sign of his good health because of the changes we had made to his diet and nutrition. We were trying to support his body so that he could better deal with the toxic effects of the chemotherapy.

It has been 7 years since he received his diagnosis.   

One thing is for sure: everything we learned about cancer has helped us with autism. Everything.

For that, I am thankful for the experience, despite how difficult it was. My eyes may not have been as open had my husband not had cancer. I probably would have never considered anything “alternative,” like the GFCF diet that unlocked speech for Prince Charming.

My boys are better off now because my husband had cancer. That is a completely bizarre thought, but it’s true.

I wish I could have been there for my husband in the ways I had hoped to as his wife, but our life just didn’t allow for it at the time. I think any wife and wannabe super mom always hopes to do it all, and it’s hard when reality doesn’t allow you to even try. I know that I can’t change what happened and that Titan understood, but I still wish I could have done more. There is still a lot of pain and pangs of guilt over that, which all came flooding back when I watched Parenthood.

Now that we are so far removed from the diagnosis and treatment, I can allow myself to feel those feelings. A little bit of distance from it helps me realize how remarkable the whole thing was, and how well we did in the circumstances.

It feels like an eternity has passed, yet when watching the show, it’s like it was just yesterday. I guess as long as the cancer storyline continues on Parenthood, I’ll get a little bit of therapy one episode at a time.      

          

It could always be worse!

This is what I told myself in the midst of doctor-visits-and-medical-mystery-a-palooza over the summer.  

It could always be worse!

Everything seemed to go cuckoo with the boys’ health toward the end of the summer. Nothing was clear cut about their situation, and no one seemed to know what was going on.   

The boys both had weird skin lesions that developed a few days after coming back from a camping trip. We did everything humanly possible to figure out what could be going on. Was it contact allergies? Were they bug bites? Was it some other condition? We had no idea and neither did the doctors. And after several days, when Monkey seemed to be getting better, Prince Charming was much worse and literally swelling before our eyes.

No one could tell us what was going on. The pediatrician didn’t know. The doctors at a second clinic didn’t know, even after 3 hours of them talking, researching and conferring with other doctors in the practice. No one knew.

Even after 10 (yes, TEN!) vials of blood taken between the boys for tons of tests, no one knew. (Getting the blood draw is a whole other story that requires consumption of a stiff drink – or several – before I am able to speak about it…)

The skin issue remains a mystery to this day, but thankfully the rashes are now gone. After about a week of not knowing what to do, making lots of phone calls, visiting various doctors, and doing endless research on the internet, I figured out a simple cure without any help from the doctors.

The secret is activated charcoal! I stuck a little pile of charcoal on top of the lesions and covered them with a bandage overnight. By morning my swollen Prince Charming was much less puffy. It was a messy miracle that took about 2 days, cost all of 3 bucks, didn’t hurt, and didn’t have any side effects. I wish I had figured it out sooner!

In and among the mystery skin issue, we were also dealing with some additional symptoms and concerns in Monkey. Cardiac symptoms.

Yes, you heard that right. In particular, tachycardia. If you are not sure what tachycardia is, it’s when the heart rate becomes accelerated for no apparent reason.  

You could have knocked me over with a feather when we figured out he was having heart issues. It was so unexpected.

When it first started happening, we thought it might have been an upset stomach, possible cold/flu, or even food poisoning. I was starting to feel like I was on Dr. House’s team with all of the research and differential diagnosis I was attempting.



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Each time Monkey would get his strange symptoms he seemed to recover quickly (within minutes or hours). There was only one time that his symptoms lasted for more than a day. He never developed any other symptoms of illness. It seemed strange that he apparently kept coming down with something but then the sickness never materialized. We knew something was up.

It was by accident that I figured out his heart was racing. From that point forward, we began documenting all of his symptoms and even found an app for our smart phones that would monitor heart rate. Then we got in to see a pediatric cardiologist.

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect one of my children to have a need for a cardiologist!

She sent us home with a portable heart monitor that we used to record any incidences as they occurred. Monkey was still being monitored when school started, so then I had to have a long discussion with the school nurse and his teacher to go over the details of the heart monitor in case he had tachycardia at school. What fun.     

After all of that, and a couple of visits to the naturopath, we still have a lot of questions about the boys’ health issues over the summer. We don’t know exactly what happened with either of them. We don’t know if the skin issues were related to the cardiac issues. We don’t know if any of the symptoms will come back.

The cardiac symptoms began going away once I started on a supplement protocol given to us by our naturopath to help Monkey’s immune system, focusing heavily on natural anti-virals. I did that for two weeks and as a result he stopped having his cardiac episodes.

We had a follow up appointment with the pediatric cardiologist to go over the heart monitor results. I reported the information about the naturopath’s treatment protocol and how the episodes tapered off and then stopped. Much to my surprise, she told me that since the naturopath’s protocol seemed to work, I should immediately begin doing it again in the future should Monkey’s episodes return.

What? A mainstream medicine person agreed with my naturopath and that natural methods worked and should be used again? I was happily shocked. Usually, information like this is met with disdain in the traditional medical community.

In our first visit with the cardiologist, she said there was a chance that his heart symptoms were being caused by some kind of virus. We were never able to pinpoint an exact virus from the myriad of tests run with the blood draws. So, she felt that success of the anti-viral supplements through our naturopath proved that Monkey’s heart issue was definitely being caused by some unknown virus. And, it could happen again. So, I will keep anti-viral supplements on hand for such an occasion.

All of this is to say, that during this time of health uncertainty, I really felt the stress of not knowing what was wrong and feeling helpless to fix it. Keeping that in mind, I know that it can always be worse.

Someone else always has a worse situation than you.

I better understood that I should not take my boys’ good health for granted. They have come a LONG way in their journey with autism and are much healthier than they were when they were younger! We have made a lot of changes, including the GFCF diet and proper supplementation. My boys are better because of it. I recognize that my life is much different now than it otherwise would have been had things not changed and I hadn’t been open to visiting a naturopath and doing other sorts of non-traditional treatments.  

During this time of concern over the summer, I really began to think of everyone I know that has dealt with things far worse than I can even imagine as a parent. I have friends who have children with Down syndrome that have dealt with multiple heart surgeries in their babies. I have another friend who had a child born with a significant heart defect, and right after her baby had a procedure to essentially re-build his heart, their apartment burned down and they lost everything while their son was recovering in the hospital. I have friends who have children with autism that cannot speak and still wear diapers at ages 8, 10, or even 16.

I can think of tons of examples of families that have a different experience with their child, and in my mind and my own experience it seems almost too difficult to imagine. What I’ve dealt with in my own boys is much more challenging than many of my friends have had with their children. But, we all deal with the cards we are dealt.  

We all have different experiences, challenges and triumphs. All we can do is try to do the very best we can in each moment of crisis or moment of joy. The boys’ health scares over the summer really brought that into focus for me.

I am so thankful for everything with my boys. Even though things have been hard in many ways, they’ve also been so wonderful in others. I am grateful for the path we are on, despite the twists, turns and brick walls along the way. I am also keenly aware that it could always be worse, and I’m exceedingly glad that today is a better day.    

GFCF Pound Cake with Chocolate Ganache

I was on a quest over the weekend to find a new GFCF chocolate cake recipe. I remembered that I still had some fresh berries in the fridge. So, in my quest to make a cake with both chocolate and raspberries (2 of my favorite ingredients!), I came across a recipe from Gluten Free Easily that I knew I had to try. 

I’ve been dying to make a dairy-free chocolate ganache, and I knew this would be a perfect cake for it. I made a few tweaks to the pound cake recipe and gave it a shot. It came out pefect. OMG. Perfect. I wanted to eat it all by myself!

I swear to you that this cake does not taste gluten-free. At all. In fact, it tastes like a buttery, tender, moist, sweet, slightly vanilla madeleine cookie. It’s the best pound cake I have ever made, even from the days before we worried about wheat and butter. Now that’s saying something!  

I knew I couldn’t wait to share the recipe with you, my dear readers, so I’m up very late typing this up for you. I have a feeling you’ll be very glad I did!

The original recipe can be found here, but please note that the recipe I am including below reflects the changes I made to it. As an added bonus, I am also including my recipe for chocolate ganache so you have the option of serving the cake the way I did.  

GFCF Pound Cake

2  1/4 cups all-purpose gluten-free flour mix (I used Bob’s Red Mill brand)
1  1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1  1/4 tsp sea salt (I used pink Himalayan salt)
1  1/2 tsp baking powder, aluminum and gluten-free
3/4 cup sunflower oil (or safflower oil, melted coconut oil, etc.)
1  1/2 cups organic sugar (I sifted mine to make sure there were no clumps)
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp applesauce
2 tsp gluten-free vanilla extract (I used my homemade extract I created with rum)
3 large organic eggs
2/3 cup full-fat organic coconut milk, whisked smooth (I used canned Thai Kitchen brand)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine dry ingredients in bowl and set aside.

In stand mixer bowl add oil and mix in sugar, vinegar, applesauce, and vanilla extract. Add eggs one at a time, stirring in-between. Add milk and mix 2 minutes. Gradually add dry ingredients and mix well.

Pour batter into greased loaf pans. Bake for 45-55 minutes or until golden brown and toothpick comes out clean.



The shiny glisten is the crunchy caramelization of the sugar.

You can see that it's airy and intact, and not super dense
and crumby like most GF cakes.

Dairy-Free Chocolate Ganache

This recipe is perfect for using up the rest of the coconut milk leftover from the can that you used for the pound cake recipe. It actually makes a little bit more than you need for the pound cake, but this just gives you a reason to go heavy on the chocolate ganache. And, that’s never a bad thing! If there’s anything leftover, you’ve got ganache for another treat. It will keep in the fridge, but I doubt it will be there long!

1 cup full-fat organic coconut milk         
2 cups (or slightly more!) semi-sweet chopped dairy-free chocolate or chocolate chips (such as Ener-G brand)
optional:  1/2 tsp gluten-free vanilla extract

In a small saucepan, whisk together the coconut milk and chocolate chips over low to medium low heat. Stir until the mixture is fully incorporated and the chocolate is melted, taking care to not scorch the chocolate. If you prefer, add in vanilla extract. The ganache will be smooth and shiny when done.

Pour the ganache over the cake and as it cools, it will firm up. Instead of pouring the ganache over the top of the cake, I opted to slice the cake and pour it over the individual slices. In our family, more chocolate is better!

Gorgeous, isn't it? It tastes as good as it looks!

Happy baking! Let me know how your pound cake and chocolate ganache turns out!

Product Review: Crunchmaster GFCF crackers

A few weeks ago, the folks at Crunchmaster asked if they could send me some gluten-free crackers to try in exchange for my review. I agreed, since I am always looking for new allergy-friendly treats for my boys. After visiting their website, I determined that we could only have a couple of different varieties due to multiple food allergies. As a result, they sent me their Sea Salt Multi-Grain crackers, which were safe for my boys to try.

The Sea Salt Multi-Grain crackers are gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, and vegan.

Around the time I received the crackers, I had some meetings scheduled for my nonprofit. Many people involved with my nonprofit either have children with food allergies and sensitivities, or have their own personal dietary concerns. I literally had a captive audience of people who understand gluten-free. It was a perfect opportunity for an impromptu taste test!

The general consensus was very positive and there was no hesitation with their opinions whatsoever. One comment I received was that the crackers had a very satisfying crunch. Another person said that they were good enough to eat by themselves just as a snack – you do not need dip or other toppings to enjoy them.

I took the remaining crackers home to test with my husband and my boys. We all tried them out when I prepared potato soup for dinner one night. I thought the crackers would be a perfect accompaniment, and I was right.

My boys loved them so much they finished off all of the rest of the crackers in one sitting.      

From my own taste test, I can tell you that the Crunchmaster crackers have a slightly different texture than many of the typical rice-based gluten-free crackers on the market, which is a pleasant and appreciated change. If you are familiar with what I’m talking about, those other kinds of crackers can almost have a waxy feel to them, which I do not prefer.

I also like that some of their products are verified GMO-free by the Non-GMO Project. Unfortunately, the variety I tried was not verified GMO-free. I hope that Crunchmaster continues working on getting the rest of their products verified.

Another way to make the product more desirable to families like mine is to use organic ingredients. This is very important to us and we always prefer to purchase products that are organic.

Overall, the Crunchmaster Sea Salt Multi-Grain crackers were a big hit with everyone who tried them. If you are interested in tasting them for yourself, they offer a coupon on their site that you should check out.  

Flashback Friday: Financial struggles of autism families

My hubby and I have been poring over our budget recently as we contemplate some things, and I remembered a post I wrote about how autism families earn less. Autism families really struggle with finances across the board, unless you're some sort of a famous bazillionaire.

Like so many of you out there, we are underwater in our mortgage. That is a scary feeling because on paper we have done everything right. We chose not to max out our home's equity and we are very careful with our credit and diligent with our budget.

Back when my hubby lost his job we had to slash and burn our budget just to survive. Let me tell you how hard it can be as a single income household to maintain supplements and a special diet while on unemployment! The sad thing is that when Titan found a new job about 6 months later, he had to take a monumental pay cut.

Financial stress just doesn't stop...especially in this economy. Pile on autism and it can be downright overwhelming.

My hope for you is that you live in a State that has enacted autism legislation in order to pay for therapies. My hope for you is that you are not going in the hole each month despite your best efforts. I hope to someday join you in those more pleasant realities.   

Check out the post I wrote last June and see how researchers have confirmed that our financial struggles are statistically significant.


P.S. Don't forget to enter the giveaway for Kate Winslet's new book, The Golden Hat. The contest ends soon! I'll announce the winner on Monday morning. Good luck!

GFCF Sugar Cookies with Vegan Icing

You may recall that I was having slight panic over what to make for the Valentine’s Day parties for my boys. I tried a new recipe in the 11^th hour, which is always a huge risk with the GFCF diet. Guess what? The cookies were a huge hit! Since the boys have asked me to make them again, I figured I had better share the recipe with you!

First, I located a GFCF sugar cookie recipe at As Good As Gluten. Then, I found a vegan icing recipe at In My Vegan Life. I put the recipes together and came up with a wonderful and super tasty creation.

I am including both recipes for you here, with the modifications I made.

GFCF Sugar Cookies

1/2 CUP dairy-free butter (I used Earth Balance soy-free spread)
1 CUP organic granulated sugar
1 organic egg or egg substitute equivalent
1 TSP gluten-free vanilla extract
1 1/3 CUP gluten-free all purpose flour blend (I used Bob’s Red Mill brand)
1/2 TSP xanthan gum
1/2 TSP baking powder
1/2 TSP cream of tartar
1/2 TSP sea salt
organic powdered sugar for rolling cookie dough out

Directions:

In a stand mixer, cream together dairy-free butter and organic sugar until smooth. Add egg or egg substitute and gluten-free vanilla, mixing well. In a medium bowl, sift together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking powder, cream of tartar and sea salt. While mixing on medium speed, gradually add dry ingredient mixture to creamed mixture. Chill dough in the fridge for at least 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. On a surface dusted with powdered sugar, roll chilled cookie dough out to about 1/4 to 1/2 inch thickness. Cut into desired shape. Place on a parchment covered cookie sheet. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until cookies are lightly browned on the edges. Let cool on the cookie sheet for 10 minutes then remove to a wire cooling rack.

Makes approximately 24 cookies.

This batch got a little overdone for my taste.
It made the cookies very crispy.

Vegan Icing

1 CUP organic powdered sugar
2-4 TBS coconut milk (or other preferred dairy-free milk)
1/2 TSP gluten-free vanilla extract
all natural red food coloring (I used Select brand, which is made from red beets)
sprinkles, if desired (I used Let's Do Sprinkelz brand)

Directions:

Combine all ingredients until smooth and spreadable. Add coloring until desired shade is achieved.

The icing will be quite runny. I mixed the icing in a shallow bowl and then dipped the cookie upside-down into it, twisting it back and forth for even coverage. Then I held the cookie for a few seconds over the bowl to allow the excess icing to drip off, immediately placing it right-side up onto a wire rack. I added sprinkles on top of the icing while it was still wet. Any remaining excess icing then dripped off the edges of the cookies and through the wire rack as the icing set. It took 30-60 minutes for the icing to harden to the touch enough for handling and stacking.

These cookies were not only pretty to look at, but they were a sweet treat without the worry of allergens or chemical ingredients. I highly recommend you give them a try! Let me know how they turn out.    

Flashback Friday: Tax day approaches!

In less than 2 months it will be Tax Day on April 15th. Have you even started gathering together your receipts yet? I spent quite a bit of time this past weekend working on updating all of my records. I was horribly behind in scanning my receipts into my software program. Once I completed that task and got to the nitty gritty of figuring deductions, my mouth dropped open when I learned how much I had spent in the past 6 months on getting my nonprofit off the ground. Holy cow do things add up quickly!

Are you aware of all of your deductions you can take that are directly related to your child's care,  like GFCF food, mileage to doctor's appointments, etc.? Do you volunteer for a nonprofit? You get to take that mileage, too! I know my volunteer mileage is at an all-time high!

I wrote a post last year about some great tools and tips for filing taxes when you have a child with autism or other special need. There are some great resources about deductions you should consider. Since tax time is getting closer, now is the perfect time to review some of this information. Maybe it will help you get a bigger refund!

Check out my post about tax deductions for autism!

  

Last minute Valentine's GFCF snack panic

The Queen of Procrastination is reporting for duty! I waited until the last possible second to come up with something allergy-free for my boys to have at their annual Valentine's Day classroom party extravaganza. I spent all day working on other things, and before I realized it the house got quiet and everyone's asleep except for me. Somehow I forgot to include making cookies on my list of stuff to do! I'm thinking the lengthy call (a.k.a. spending an eternity on hold) to the insurance company could have waited another day. The bill will still be there tomorrow, after all!

Okay, ouch. I just looked at the clock and had a moment of panic realizing how few hours there are between now and when the boys will get up. I need to get my rear in gear!

After perusing the web tonight, I think I have a game plan. Of course, I have a slight pang of anxiety that a new recipe will be a complete flop and there will be nothing edible to show for the effort. But, I can't think of those things now! Or, at least I'll try not to...

I am going to attempt an allergy-free cookie (free of gluten, dairy, soy, nuts); but I might include an egg just to try to make the end result better. I'm thinking I'll take a chance on a shortbread or sugar cookie with a pink (or maybe even red) icing. I have some all-natural food coloring that is made from beets that should do the trick. There are a few recipes I found online that I will use as a guide.

I hope that everything turns out yummy for my boys! I don't want them to feel like they are being deprived of all of the technicolor cupcakes and various junk food that the other kids will get to eat. I want them to participate fully and have no feelings of jealousy over the rest of the chock-full-of-chemicals-and-allergens treats.

If the cookies turn out extra awesome, I'll take pictures and share them with you in a future post. Sound like a deal? Sorry I didn't have them ready in time for this one... That would have made for better reading and viewing. Oh well. I think you'll look past it this time, right?

Crap...I just realized that I have also forgotten to buy a Valentine's Day card for my beloved hubby. I'm batting a thousand here, folks. I have a feeling it's going to be a very busy morning. Yes, it's Valentine's Day morning! I better get a move on! 

What do you have planned for this day to celebrate those you love?



I felt this was fitting for my unprepared Valentine's Day!
I haven't purchased a card yet and my hubby took the time
 to create a handmade card for me. He even made his own
envelope! I can't wait to read it later. Hubby gets an A+ in
the romance department for his efforts! I love that man.

The cupcake debate

Monkey turned 9! I am still in a state of disbelief. When did he get this big and old, anyway? For that matter, when did I get this old? Sheesh! Next year he'll be double digits and that's kinda freaking me out a bit!!! 

His birthday theme this year is Angry Birds!

Typically I try to bring in something special for his class to help make his day extra nice at school. Since most kids bring in the store-made cupcakes (that Monkey can't eat) for their birthday celebration, I usually focus on bringing a small, non-food gift instead. I don't want Monkey to have the automatic assumption that the only way you can celebrate is with food. And, perhaps my little gift bags make more of an impression on the kids. I know it doesn't really matter, but I like to think of it as one thing I can do to try to help Monkey with being a bit more "cool." He struggles enough to fit in and make friends, so bringing gifts to the class could potentially provide him with a little boost for that day. Who knows if it really does? But I hope that, if nothing else, it brings smiles.

Thinking back to his previous celebrations at school, I realized that I've never brought in a food snack on his birthday. So, I figured it was time.

I left a message with the teacher to let her know that I would be bringing allergy-free snacks to the classroom on his birthday and to please notify me if there were any other allergies I needed to consider since I wanted to make sure every single child could participate (which, sadly, never happens for Monkey).

I pulled out my all-time favorite muffin recipe because it's easy to make, everyone likes it, it's food allergy-friendly, and I don't have to deal with frosting because they taste great without it. What am I referring to, you ask?     

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins!

By the way, I call these delectable delights "cupcakes" almost as often as I call them "muffins." Cupcakes sound more birthday-ish, and frankly isn't a cupcake just a muffin topped with frosting? Just a thought...

Be sure to click on the link for all the details. You'll thank me later.

Ready for the classroom!
Pumpkin Chocolate Chip and Chocolate Chunk Cupcakes...without frosting! :-)
I made extras and not a single one came back home - they all were consumed! Mikey likes it!

Product Review: The best GFCF dinner rolls ever!

I really mean that! The BEST ever. Do you have any idea how many different gluten-free recipes and brands I’ve used over the past several years? A lot! Do you know how many times extended family and friends have paid me fake compliments as they choke down the GFCF bread bricks that I serve fresh from my oven?

It usually starts out with me saying something like this:

“I tried another new gluten-free, casein-free, soy-free, egg-free, nut-free bread recipe! I hope it turned out okay!"

They reply back with something to the effect of:

“Well, for gluten-free they aren’t bad.”

Uh huh. Sure. Great way to dodge the fact that they taste like crumbly, heavy cardboard. I think I’ve only ever heard a truly positive remark once. It was in regard to a box mix I tried out last Christmas - Gluten Free Pantry’s french bread and pizza mix. It was decent enough. Generally speaking, we no longer go out of our way to eat bread because gluten-free varieties are always so disappointing.

But things are different now. I found the bread mix that puts all other gluten-free bread mixes to shame. I first tried it last month for Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. I made rolls again last night for an early Christmas dinner with my husband’s dad and his family. Do you want to know what the response was? It wasn’t the polite, “these rolls are better than the last ones you made” kind of remark. Oh no, indeed! We had entire conversations about how awesome these rolls were. The response was overwhelmingly positive! For Thanksgiving, we ate all the rolls in one sitting. No leftovers! That was a first! For our early Christmas dinner last night, I made a double-batch (anticipating a good response) and there were only a few left over. By golly…we have success!

I was introduced to this mix by my good friend, Granny Lala, an allergen-free baker. She is most definitely in the know! After she and I did some beta testing on some new sandwich rolls in her commercial kitchen one night, she was extremely generous and sent me home with a sample of this mix to try.

I know you’re dying to know what the brand is and where to get it. Are you ready? Go get a pencil.  

GF Alcohol and GF Vanilla Extract

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Since we are now officially in the thick of the holiday season, if you’re anything like me, you are baking quite a bit. When I’m baking, vanilla is a very important ingredient. This time of year I use a lot of it, and boy is it expensive! Have you ever thought about whether or not your vanilla extract is gluten-free? Frankly that question wasn’t even on my radar until a couple of years ago.

One of my friends is an allergen-free baker who operates in a dedicated allergen-free commercial kitchen. At a bare minimum her products do not contain gluten, dairy, soy or nuts, but are also often free of other ingredients like eggs. I’ve had her come speak to my support group, I’ve attended one of her cooking classes, and I’ve also had the opportunity to work with her inside her kitchen. She is a wealth of information!

Regular vs. Gluten-Free Vanilla Extract

One of the things she taught me is that typical vanilla extract has gluten in it. She told me that alcohol in the extract usually comes from grains containing gluten, such as wheat. If it says alcohol (with no other explanation) on the bottle, then it probably has gluten in it. I hadn’t really thought about it before then. Most varieties available in your local grocery store contain grain alcohol, even if it doesn’t say “grain.” And, lots of the less expensive extracts don’t even contain real vanilla, but rather vanillin, an artificial flavor made from wood alcohol – a byproduct of the pulp industry. Yes…wood. Gross!

GF Alcohol Options

Rum

My friend explained how she sources her gluten-free vanilla extract from the Caribbean and has actually visited the factory where it is made using local rum. Did you know that rum is made from sugar cane? Almost all regular rum on the market is gluten-free, unless it is flavored or colored. Gluten can be a hidden ingredient in flavors and colors (like caramel color).   

Vodka and Tequila

I was already aware that vodka is made from potatoes, which makes it a grain-free alcohol alternative. However, what I didn’t know is that many vodka brands now use corn or grain alcohol in their recipe.

Another traditionally gluten-free alcohol is tequila, which is made from agave. Unfortunately, some of the cheaper tequila brands will add additional sugar or grain to their recipe.  

I found a list of gluten-free alcohols that you can reference here and here, although I have no idea how current or correct the information is. It never hurts to give the manufacturer a call to double-check if you are unsure.         

GF Vanilla Extract

Since my friend shared with me all about gluten-free alcohols, I thought that perhaps I should consider making my own vanilla extract. I didn’t think it would be very difficult and perhaps it would be less expensive!

And, now that we know about gluten-free alcohol options, we can make our GF vanilla extract! Want to know how easy it is?

Gather the following things:

1 cup of gluten-free alcohol of your choosing (i.e. rum, vodka, tequila, etc.)
3 vanilla beans
sealed container, like a glass mason jar

Here’s what to do:

1.     Split your vanilla beans with a knife, leaving them attached at one end.

2.     If you like, scrape the seeds out with the back of your knife and add them to the alcohol.

3.     Place the vanilla beans in the container, making sure they are covered with alcohol.

4.     Shake the container vigorously once a week.

5.     Store for at least 60 days in a dark place for best results.

6.     If you prefer, strain the seeds out of the extract using cheesecloth or a fine sieve before using.

7.     As you use the extract, top it off with additional gluten-free alcohol to replenish your supply. The vanilla beans will continue to flavor the alcohol for several years.

One of my 2 large bottles of rum.
I added the vanilla beans back in
September. Looking good!

It makes a perfect gift!

*Warning! If you are reading this and celebrate Christmas with my family, avert your eyes! The following information is top secret!*

This year I am making homemade gluten-free vanilla extract for our family and close friends. (I doubt any of those people actually read my blog, so I’m probably safe!)

I purchased 2 large bottles of rum. Based upon the recipe above, I then calculated the number of vanilla beans I would need based upon the combined volume of the bottles of rum I planned to use. I bought vanilla beans at Costco because it was the cheapest place I could find them. The vanilla beans they carry are larger than most vanilla beans I had found previously, which made them an ever better deal. My experience with my local Costco store is that vanilla beans are only available during the holiday season. Then I found some pretty bottles at Cost Plus World Market with cork stoppers that will accommodate the vanilla beans standing upright.

Costco vanilla beans!

I will pour out the newly prepared vanilla extract into each bottle (which holds approximately 1 cup) and then place some vanilla beans inside. Since my vanilla beans are large, I plan to only include 2 per bottle rather than the 3 indicated in the recipe. I found some Avery labels that are intended for wine bottles and are moisture-resistant (to help protect against drips). I will design a custom label and then apply it to each bottle. Viola! Christmas gifts are done!

I’m sorry I didn’t think far enough ahead to share this with you at least 60 days prior to Christmas! If you choose to make your own gluten-free vanilla extract as gifts this year, just add a note to the recipient indicating that they will get the best results if they wait to use it until the date you specify (at least 60 days after you added the vanilla beans to the alcohol). Don’t forget to remind them that they can top it off and keep making their own as they use it up.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving!    

P.S. If you would like more information on making your own GF vanilla extract, I found 2 articles online that are really good - here and here.

A really awesome GFCF giveaway!

If you were on Facebook over the weekend, you know that I promised some big news on Monday. Are you ready? I’m doing an awesome giveaway! Really, really awesome. Like $200 awesome! Do I have your attention? Good!

I was over at Earth Monkey Moms the other day (you remember my Extreme Makeover Home Edition friend) and they were doing a giveaway that was super cool. They were giving away 10 spots in an upcoming live online dietary coaching program on how to start the GFCF diet for your kids. As it turns out, the consultant that offered up the prizes was someone I wrote a guest post for back in September. You can read that post at the Apples to Oranges blog here.

Anyway, I left a comment on the EMM blog that day, mentioning that if they picked me as a winner that I would happily forfeit it to someone else. After all, I do talks and meetings all the time about the GFCF diet through my support group and nonprofit organization. I don’t really need this kind of class when so many others out there could really use the info so much more than me!

Guess what? I ended up being one of the winners. And guess what else? Lindsay at EMM told me to keep the prize! And guess what I’m doing with that prize? I’m giving it away to one of you, my dear readers!

Can I just reiterate how awesome this prize is? I'm doing a little happy dance for you right now! Do you like that visual? Anyway....sorry. I'm just a teeny bit excited. 

I can tell you from my own experience that when you first start dealing with dietary restrictions it can be very overwhelming and scary. So, how cool would it be to have someone hold your hand through the process?

The dietary coach and fellow mother warrior is Lori Brienesse-Frank, and she is the gal behind Apples to Oranges Consulting. She will take you through everything you need to know about the GFCF diet in the 8-week live webinar series, which will begin in January.  

Christmas is coming early for one lucky reader this week! Would you like to know how to win? The only mandatory requirement is to leave a comment below this post, but please use the widget I’ve included below. The rest of the items listed will give you bonus entries if you complete them. So, fill in the little blanks and check the little boxes and you are done, my friends.  

I can’t think of a better way to start the New Year, than with some professional guidance from a dietary coach like Lori. You only have a few days to enter, so get moving! Good luck!

How to go gluten-free in 8 steps

Picture Credit

I have been getting inundated with requests for information on the GFCF diet – email, Facebook, you  name it. So, in order to help address some of these questions I thought it would be a good idea to recycle my first ever Guest Post that I did for BoysRising back in April in honor of Autism Awareness Month. I know it’s not standard blogging protocol to repost something you wrote for someone else, but the demand for information has been so high that I thought I would gloss over the blogging etiquette a bit and revisit this one. I’m doing it for you, my friends.

Please keep in mind that I originally wrote this post for a very different audience – one that doesn’t necessarily have special needs children or the desire to eliminate multiple types of food (like dairy/casein, soy, etc.). Although I left the post almost entirely intact, I did make a few minor changes here and there. I hope it provides you with some good information.

Going gluten-free for your health

Have you seen gluten-free products at your local grocery store recently? According to a report earlier this month from Packaged Facts, the gluten-free market has grown 30% in the past 4 years and is projected to have sales in excess of $5 billion annually by 2015. That is a huge market! In the past few years there have been many new options added to store shelves. I am grateful that gluten-free products are becoming easier to find. I hope that this trend will continue to provide consumers with better access to quality GF products at even more competitive pricing.

Maybe you’re wondering what all the gluten-free hype is about and why someone would choose to make such a change. Well, there are lots of reasons! Some people try a gluten-free diet to relieve symptoms from conditions like: rheumatoid arthritis, celiac disease, MS, fibromyalgia, and autism spectrum disorder. I have 2 boys diagnosed on the autism spectrum and a change in diet has been the key to unlocking speech in my youngest son. A survey found that among those families who try the GFCF diet (gluten-free, casein/dairy-free) to help with autism, almost 70% see improvements in their children. That is very significant!   

My thoughts are, if it won’t hurt them and it might actually help, then why not try it? Even though I was scared to make dietary changes and I initially resisted the idea, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. My son is talking! And, some of his other physical and behavioral symptoms have also improved. As you can imagine, I am now a big proponent of dietary intervention for kids with autism and I love to share our experience with others.

April is designated as Autism Awareness Month. Since both of my kids have seen wonderful benefits from the GFCF diet and I’ve become a sort of expert on the topic, I thought it would be great to give you some basics about going gluten-free. Even if you don’t have a child with autism, a gluten-free diet can be a positive step toward improving your health. There are many symptoms associated with gluten sensitivity, some of which include: fatigue, depression, weight gain, diarrhea/constipation, headaches, asthma, eczema/rashes, joint pain, bloating/gas, frequent infections (yeast, sinus, urinary tract, etc.), infertility, etc.

Are you intrigued and thinking about taking the plunge into the GF world? Here are some tips I’ve developed out of my own experience on how to go gluten-free.

1.      Learn from free GF resources.

Check out gluten-free cookbooks from your local library and visit GF websites and blogs. See what types of ingredients you will need to acquire and become familiar with the names of alternative grains, like quinoa and amaranth. Also familiarize yourself with substitutions and how to read labels. If you’re making changes for your child’s benefit, TACA has lots of helpful information related to starting children on a GFCF diet. My favorite online GFCF recipe resource is Gluten-Free Goddess.

2.      Be prepared to spend more on groceries.

Going gluten-free is not cheap. Pre-made and packaged items are already expensive and the prices of their GF counterparts will greatly affect your food budget. If you like to bake and cook, save money by making your own stuff. Seek out gluten-free products in bulk at your local grocery store or health food store. Places like Costco are also starting to carry GF options. Another place to source and purchase GF items is online. Comparison shop before you buy and look for coupons and sales. Discontinued items or things close to expiration often end up in the grocery store bargain bin. I’ve found many amazing deals on gluten-free items by always checking this section of my store whenever I go shopping.

3.      Take things in steps.

Choose one item, like cereal, and replace it with an allergy-free version. I started my boys on the GFCF diet cold turkey. I DO NOT recommend this because it can be very difficult and traumatic. If you ease into it one step at a time your taste buds will become accustomed and additional changes will be easier. Try one new item each week until you have eliminated all gluten from your diet.

4.      Stock up on GF supplies.

After reviewing some cookbooks and recipes you will have a better understanding of what new ingredients you should buy. Gluten-free desserts and breads require specific combinations of several types of GF flours, so you will want to follow recipes to the letter. Just replacing regular flour with GF flour or a GF blend will not always yield good results. I’ve had some colossal flops along the way as I figured this out. Find a good all-purpose GF flour blend and start experimenting. My favorite brand is Bob’s Red Mill.

5.      Be prepared for a change in texture.

Gluten is a protein that imparts elasticity into baked goods. You are not going to get the same kind of result when gluten is absent from the product. Most gluten-free items tend to be crumbly and dense. When you are first starting out you will notice a big difference, particularly in breads. There will be a period of trial and error as you familiarize yourself with brands you never want to buy again and others you like and want to stick with.

6.      Focus on what you CAN eat.

If you are pining for your favorite chocolate cake or crusty sourdough boulé, you are going to drive yourself crazy. As I mentioned, there is a big texture difference. You’ll find things that work for your palate. We have several allergens that we avoid at our house, which can make meal planning fairly complex. Instead of worrying about what is free of gluten, dairy, egg, soy, nuts, and so on, we try to focus on building a meal around what we know the boys can eat without worry: protein, vegetables and fruit.

7.      Be prepared to feel worse, at least initially.

When making a change like this, the body will often go into detox mode. It can often feel like you’ve got a case of the “blahs” or the flu. My son had a hunger strike for several days when we took him off of allergens. His behavior was already awful and violent, and it actually escalated for the first 2 weeks. His body was addicted to the allergens. The offending foods created a drug-like chemical effect in his brain caused by leaky gut syndrome. Going off the food made him act like he was going through withdrawal. It was not pretty. But, it got better. The first week was the worst, and then after 2 weeks he started talking. He’s made tremendous progress since then and his body is healing.  

8.      Stick with it for at least 60 days.

After you’ve eased yourself into the GF lifestyle, make a commitment to be 100% gluten-free for a minimum of 60 days. Changes don’t always happen suddenly, so give your body enough time to respond. It’s a very good idea to start a food journal and list of symptoms prior to going on the GF diet so you can accurately assess what changes happen after removing gluten. You might notice significant changes almost immediately, or smaller changes that happen slowly.

Some people think that the gluten-free phenomenon is only a food fad, like the low-carb food craze when the Atkins Diet was popular. I strongly disagree. Celiac disease is one of the most under-diagnosed conditions in the US, conservatively estimated to affect 1 in 133 people. Autism continues to rise alarmingly fast, occurring in 1 out of every 91 children in the US. A gluten-free diet is helpful to the vast majority of families who try it in order to help their children diagnosed with autism. Many people who go gluten-free for other health reasons will often see improvements in their symptoms, too.

I strongly believe that the need for gluten-free diets and demand for GF products will continue to increase at a steady pace in the years to come. If you have any sort of health issue, I would highly recommend that you learn more about the symptoms of gluten intolerance and maybe give the GF diet a try to see if your health improves. It certainly can’t hurt!