Book Review & Giveaway: Easy to Love but Hard to Raise

Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet? Well, today I’m trying to help you out a little bit with that. I have a book that is perfect to give to your extended family members who maybe need a little insight about special needs. Or, you can keep it as a nice gift for yourself as a reminder that you are not alone.

I was contacted by DRT Press about the new book, Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents; Challenging Kids, True Stories, edited by Kay Marner and Adrienne Ehlert Bashista. They didn’t give me a big, fat check to say nice things about them, but they did send me a shiny, new copy of this book in paperback. I was cool with that because I love books, and may even have a slight problem with them - you should see all the books in my office…

You, my friends, now have a chance to win a copy of Easy to Love but Hard to Raise for your very own! It’s like a little bit of Christmas from me to you (courtesy of DRT Press). J

The editors set the tone for the book when they gave their acknowledgements:

…to all the parents of children who are oh-so-easy to love, but so hard to raise. May you find hope, community and kindred spirits in these pages.

You know you are in for something real when you see a statement like that.

There are stories written by 32 parents that describe situations they’ve had with their children. Between these anecdotes are brief Q & A sections with 25 experts that discuss related issues. This is a unique approach and it provides a nice contrast in content.

Rather than focusing on my favorite moments from the diverse stories shared within its pages, I find myself more drawn to the intent of the book.

I really appreciated the Foreward written by Dr. Edward Hallowell. Here is an excerpt taken from page xi:

Some kids are easy to love. Some kids just sail through childhood getting love wherever and whenever they need it. But then there are the kids who live in alphabet soup. They are not so easy to love. They can be difficult, distant, disobedient, defiant, dangerous, even delusional. They can leave a parent crying herself to sleep every night, they can leave a parent feeling guilty for having negative feelings, they can leave a parent despairing that the child will ever find a way in the world, they can deplete the store of love every parent starts off with.

But they can’t deplete it for long. That’s what’s so amazing about these parents. They keep on going. They never give up. They give their all, and then they find more all to give. They are paragons of the best of the human spirit. And they earn this praise in the hot and dusty arena of the struggle to raise a child who can seem, at times, impossible to raise.    

Yes!

Yes. He gets it.

With the Introduction from Kay Marner, we realize the true meaning of this book. It is this intent with which I write my blog. These words could have just as easily come from me and they speak the truth of what many of us parents in the trenches seek to do by reaching out to others.

No, I’m not a parenting expert, but I am an expert on my child and the complex and contradictory emotions that come with raising her. In time I’ve learned that there’s value in sharing these emotions. Expert advice is not the only thing struggling parents need. We also need to know we’re not alone; to know that other parents are going through similar experiences, making similar mistakes, and searching for similar answers. We need something experts can’t give us: we need each other.

Absolutely.

There’s really nothing more to say, is there?

If you want to learn about how other parents are dealing with ADHD, SPD, OCD, PDD and other diagnoses, than you should definitely take some time to read this book. The parent perspective is a refreshing change from the dry, scientific “experts” that we all read in our spare time between the various daily crises, adventures and attempts to sleep.

One thing is certain, if you hadn’t already figured it out: you are not alone.

Thank you to DRT Press for giving me a chance to read this book, and also for allowing me to give away a copy to my dear readers. To learn more about this book, visit www.easytolovebut.com or www.drtpress.com.   

*UPDATE as of 11/30/12 12pm Pacific*
There have been some technical difficulties with the giveaway widget since I posted this 12 hours ago. I started out with Rafflecopter and had a couple of entries, but ultimately I had to trash that one. I have to apologize to those that entered via Rafflecopter - I have no idea who you are...sorry. You will need to re-enter with the new widget. I replaced the old widget with a new one from PunchTab that seems to be doing better, unless you are on Internet Explorer. So far, it does not appear to work in IE at all and will not get past the "loading" screen. You will need to use Chrome or some other browser to enter the giveaway. SORRY for all of the issues this time around.

I’ll announce the winner of the giveaway next week! Good luck, everyone!

Flashback Friday: Another Bad Mommy Moment

Yesterday morning I had a moment of déjà vu. I found myself in the same situation with Prince Charming that I was in over a year ago with Monkey. It starts with a tired mom forgetting to finish the laundry and ends up with at least one boy without dry clothes to wear to school.  

In this situation, Prince Charming had a much more difficult time accepting the change in circumstances than Monkey did last year.

Luckily I found a pair of pants for him to wear that were hiding out in Monkey’s dresser drawer and happened to be the right size. Can you say minor miracle? He objected to the idea of a new pair of pants he’d never worn before. After significant prodding, he put them on and they fit perfectly. He was a very happy little boy when he got on the school bus. Thank God.

To read about the original Bad Mommy incident, click here.

Flashback Friday: Sensory Meltdown

Last year I wrote about a big meltdown that Prince Charming had while at therapy. I remember the incident vividly.

Even though I was among friends and fellow autism moms that day, I remember feeling pangs of embarrassment and slight panic as I tried to de-escalate him.

Thankfully, we haven't had one of those epic meltdowns in a while. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it stays that way.

Check out my post: Meltdowns Happen. 

Flashback Friday: Sensory-Friendly Room Makeover

As promised in my first blogiversary post this week, I am sharing some of my favorite posts from the past year. One post that consistently remained my most popular (until it got knocked down a few notches a couple of months ago) was when I described the sensory-friendly bedroom makeovers I did for my boys.

The room makeovers are just as popular with the neighborhood kids and friends from school as they are with my boys. There's something about a sensory swing that kids just love, no matter if they are neurotypical or not.

So, I hope you click over and read about what my husband and I did to make the boys' bedrooms more sensory-friendly. Maybe you'll get some ideas for your house! 

Click here and please enjoy.

The Big Giveaway!

A couple of weeks ago, I put out a challenge to my lovely Facebook friends. If we could increase our numbers to 200 on the Caffeinated Autism Mom Facebook page by the end of August, I promised to do a giveaway. Well, the blog was shared, people found the page and clicked “Like,” and little by little our numbers increased. We met and exceeded the goal by the deadline! I’m so proud of my caffeinated peeps! You guys rock.

You may recall my post from one month ago, “Call me Author.” In that post, I shared with you that I had my story published in Hartley Steiner’s new book, Sensational Journeys: 48 Personal Stories of Sensory Processing Disorder. Today is the day that the book officially becomes available!

Can you imagine how I would like to celebrate this momentous occasion? A giveaway, of course!    

So, here is the deal. I’m going to give away 1 copy of the book, Sensational Journeys. And, if the winner would like, I'll even sign it. (Wow, that's weird for me to think about!) Anyway, your job is super easy.

This is all you have to do to enter:

1.       "Like" Caffeinated Autism Mom on Facebook. If you already like the blog on Facebook, then go immediately to step 2!

2.       Leave a comment at the bottom of this post. In your comment, please share why you would like the book and also list your name as it appears on Facebook.

Comments left on Facebook are always appreciated, but they will not be considered entries for this contest. Only comments left below this post will count. One entry/comment per person.

Once you have Liked the blog’s Facebook page AND left a comment, you are entered to win! It’s that easy!

The giveaway will be open from 9/1/11 through 9/15/11, ending at 10pm Pacific Time.

I will read all of your comments and select the winner. I reserve the right to ask my hubby for help and/or have my kids choose one randomly if I am stumped by your collective awesomeness. J

The winner will be announced on Monday, 9/19/11.

Depending on the response we get to this contest, I may elect to have a second contest in the near future. We’ll just have to see…

Good luck to everyone and thank you for reading Caffeinated Autism Mom!

Oh! And by the way, even if you don’t win the book, I hope you have a chance to read Sensational Journeys. Feel free to check it out by clicking on the picture below.

Call me Author

Call me Author. Or call me Ishmael. Or just Angela. Although, Author does have a nice ring to it!

I am happy to announce that my story will be included in the new book, Sensational Journeys by Hartley Steiner. The book will feature stories from many different families and their journey with sensory processing disorder. My particular story discusses both autism and SPD.

I can hardly believe that I’m officially a contributing author in an actual book. I should receive my author’s copy any day now. It makes me giddy just writing those words!

The book will be available one month from today, on September 1^st.

Amazon has the book discounted for presale for a few cents over $10! What a bargain!

I will be doing an interview with the author and there may even be a giveaway of the book. I’ll keep you in the loop as all the details get worked out.

Now, click on the picture to the left and go check it out!

"Seeing the green flash" on SPD Blogger Network

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

My post ran over at SPD Blogger Network today, so I wanted to share it with you. I wrote this one back in February, and it talked about how I was going through our nightly routine and a simple request from me turned into a full-tilt Grumpy Badger meltdown.

I hope you take a moment to hop over to SPD Blogger Network to check out my post.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Latest post on SPD Blogger Network

Back in April I wrote “Yet another fat lip.” And no, we're not talking about collagen injections or a silly novelty! 

Over the weekend SPD Blogger Network ran my post on their site! The post was about how I tried to get a hug from Prince Charming and I ended up getting kicked in the face. I ended up with a split and bleeding lip from the experience.

Injuries can be quite common for parents of kids who have sensory issues. That experience was not my first fat lip and it probably won’t be my last.

I’d love to hear your experiences with your children. Have you ever received any injuries as part of being a parent to a special kiddo? Share your story below in the comments.

And, please don’t forget to visit SPD Blogger Network to view my post. I hope you have an injury-free day!

Bad Mommy at SPD Blogger Network

Over the weekend I had another post run over at SPD Blogger Network! I originally wrote “Bad Mommy” back in January. In the post I talked about how Monkey has some tactile sensory issues and how a potential sensory disaster was averted despite my forgetfulness.  

I encourage you to go visit the post over at SPD Blogger Network and don’t forget to browse some of the other posts, too. There’s a lot of great bloggers on the site!

I’d love to hear about your Bad Mommy experiences in the comments below. When did you mess up and how did your kids handle it? Did they make you laugh or did they have a major meltdown? Do tell!

My first post at SPD Blogger Network!

Wow! My first post was published today over at SPD Blogger Network! It's a wonderful site and I encourage all parents who have kids with any sort of sensory issue (which, let's face it, includes almost all of us!) to visit and read through the gamut of posts related to Sensory Processing Disorder.

"Meltdowns Happen" ran here on my blog in February. It's my second most popular post ever, so I'm thrilled to share it with a new audience. I hope that my story of managing a meltdown with Grumpy Badger will help others realize that you are not the only parent that deals with this kind of thing. Parents, especially moms, need to be reminded that you are not alone. I've been there, too. As a community, we're in this together.

Meltdowns happen, as much as we wish they didn't. This is despite the efforts of caring parents who work diligently to navigate situations that might trigger problems for their child. While our children learn coping strategies, our job is to continue helping them through those tough situations. Meltdowns are as hard on your child as they are on you. Keep moving and do what you think is best. You are the expert on your child, after all. Keep up the good work!

This is a great opportunity to learn from each other. I've found that tips from fellow parents are often better than those I've read in a book. Please feel free to comment below with strategies that have helped you and your child during a meltdown. Here's to meltdown-free days, or at least longer stretches between them!    

Bad mommy

I had an uh-oh moment this morning while rushing my oldest son through his morning routine. About 5 minutes before he’s supposed to get on the bus, he tells me he doesn’t have any pants to wear. In a panic, I dash into his room to double-check that this is, in fact, the case. There’s nothing. Not even sweat pants that he wears as pajamas. What to do?

Then I remember that on a whim I did a load of laundry last night, which I promptly forgot about. I got distracted with my boys and never put the clothes in the dryer. Feeling nauseous, I check the washing machine. The clothes aren’t there! I swing open the dryer door and realize that my husband remembered and did it for me. What a guy! We were saved!

I reach in to pull out a pair of pants and I get a sinking feeling. The clothes are damp. Oh, crap. Monkey has tactile defensiveness and can’t handle simple things like touching anything wet with his fingers. How will he handle this? I hurriedly instruct him to get ready to go (except for putting on pants), while I flip the switch to high heat on the dryer. I do a little prayer as I’m standing next to the dryer, watching the clock and tapping my feet impatiently.

Three minutes later, Monkey’s got about 90 seconds left before he has to dash out the door to head to the bus stop. He’s happily sitting on the floor in his room, waiting. This is a surprise because he’s typically anxious about the time, and watches the clock like a hawk. Thank God today he chose not to care. This could be a good sign.

I fling open the dryer, praying to find that the thinnest pair of pants feels somewhat dry. I pull them out and feel some dampness around the waistband, but the pockets seem alright and the legs are dry. We might be able to work a miracle here. I’m explaining to Monkey that I’m sorry that his pants are not perfectly dry, but it’s as good as I can do. I try to hurriedly help him get into the pants, and he winces from the heat of the clothing. I’m batting a thousand this morning. Temperature is another sensitivity he has, and I forget to quickly “air” the pants out before giving them to him. I reassure him that he’ll be okay, and that he shouldn’t worry about the damp waistband either. You know what he says to me? “It’s OK. They’ll be dry by reading time,” referencing his morning classroom schedule.

My worry immediately disappears and my heart swells up with pride. There seems to be a parting of the clouds in our hectic morning as he runs off to the bus stop. My little Monkey will be fine. He and his body are learning how to deal with the sensitivities. Maybe it won’t always be such a finely choreographed life. Maybe I won’t have to worry so much. Well, at least about damp pants.

A sensory-friendly bedroom makeover

Last spring we chose to overhaul our boys’ bedrooms. We were having issues with them seeking sensory input in unsafe ways, and we needed them to be able to jump and crash safely. Also, due to the mood swings of my youngest, it was critical to provide built-in calming strategies. We decided to do a complete sensory-friendly bedroom makeover!

First we started with the color of the walls. We explored the psychology of color so that we could attempt to mirror the color with the outcome we were seeking. For Monkey we chose a medium blue, resembling the color of Thomas the Tank Engine. Blue is thought to be a color of serenity and calm. When Monkey isn’t in some sort of electronic toy-based coma, he tends to be on the hyper side of life, making it difficult for him to fall asleep. For Prince Charming we chose a medium green. It’s somewhere between Kermit the Frog and turquoise. Green is thought to relieve stress and promote harmony. Since our little Prince Charming can turn into a Grumpy Badger in a mere 2 seconds flat, this was a good thing to introduce into his room. Green is also thought to aid with reading ability. Prince Charming has had a rough road with learning to read and write, and we figured every little bit helps.

The most important feature of the room was centered on the idea of calming the sensory system. My boys always seem to immediately calm down when their Occupational Therapist would have them get into a Lycra swing to organize their bodies before an activity. How in the world could we get this magical swing into their rooms? We began looking for inspiration, trekking to places like Ikea. They had some really neat ideas, but nothing really clicked in the same way as hanging a homemade fabric swing. Then, we discovered how the whole room would take shape with one focal point – a loft bed.

A loft bed would address several things. First, it would give a sense of enclosure. In the past, I’ve seen Prince Charming playing quietly as he’s flat on his belly under his bed. Or, I’d see Monkey asleep on the floor, huddled in his blanket in the narrow space between his wall and the bed. They both craved the peaceful feeling of enclosure. With the raised side rails on the bed and its closeness to the ceiling, this would create a virtual tent for the boys. Also, the area underneath the bed is like a big fort, enclosed by support rails on 3 sides. We knew it would be a big hit for playtime. Second, the bed’s location close to the ceiling would help get the boys to sleep faster. It would no longer be an ideal place for play and would better serve its role as a place of relaxation and sleep. No jumping on the bed means sleep comes faster! Third, it served as the perfect solution for housing the Lycra swing, which could easily be suspended off the main support beams underneath the mattress.