He couldn't stop talking!

So, it's been a while since I've been around these parts. I have missed you! Hopefully you have missed me, too. This year has been, well...a YEAR. Let's just leave it at that for now.

Titan and I were in a festive mood this weekend since the boys managed to make it through an entire day without attempting to kill each other. We called it a win. So, we decided to go celebrate the spirit of the season and visit a local Christmas lights display. We've been there several times before, but this year was different. 

It was different because of the way Monkey reacted. 

You all know by now that he is my quiet, scholarly type. He would rather play quietly in his room or sitting on the couch in a darkened room. Interacting with other people is either too much work or too boring for him most of the time. 

So, we waited in what seemed to be an endless line to get into the Christmas lights display, and as we began to go through it, Monkey's demeanor completely changed.

He started talking. Excitedly. And, he couldn't stop. The entire time. 

It was actually quite humorous. I looked over at Titan and he gave me a look of shared understanding of how unusual this moment was. 

Monkey was chattering our ears off and, he just did not stop. I loved it! After about 20 minutes of a play-by-play of every single thing he was seeing, where it was located, what color it was, and so much more, it got be a bit exhausting for Prince Charming and Titan. I was smiling and engaging with Monkey the whole time because moments where he is so excited that it just bubbles over are rare, and I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

This is similar to part of the light display we saw.
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When I asked him what his favorite part of the night was, he said he liked the arches of Christmas lights. He said it was like "an elevator to heaven." I love that!

On the way home, he was commenting about how much he had talked. He even said, "Mommy, you should tell your friends how much I talked tonight!" I told him I would, and here we are.

If I get too busy to write another post between now and the end of the year, I wanted to take a moment to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas! Take care and enjoy the time you spend with your family.      

My experience with homelessness

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Never in my life did I expect to welcome a homeless man into my home to temporarily live with my family, but here we are.

For purposes of this blog, I’m going to call this man Jester because he’s a bit of a goofball. In the short time Jester has been with us, he has taught me a lot. First let me make a clarification, because I know you are wondering why we would make this kind of a choice.

Jester is a long-time friend of my husband’s. They had fallen out of touch years ago and had reconnected via my Facebook account a few years ago. Even though I had heard about him a lot in the past 16 years that my husband and I have been together, I had never met Jester until he moved in with us.

We got a call one night from him asking for help, and within an hour he was in our home. While Titan was out picking him up, I was hurriedly getting the kids into bed and prepping the house for his arrival, making sure there were clean sheets for him on our hide-a-bed, and that there was tea ready for all of us when they walked in the door. I knew it was going to be a long night of chatting, and I was right.

I was overwhelmed with his stories of the things he had been through, including a very recent and sudden separation from his wife. It was all so heartbreaking and surreal.

Growing up as a cop’s daughter, a healthy distrust is part of my nature. I often think of things with the filter of safety and security, and I obviously had concerns about whether or not I could trust this man to be with me and the boys while Titan was at work. Since Titan had zero worries, I knew we would be okay. Since then I have been working to systematically let go of my automatic mama bear reflex around him, and I feel like I’ve kept an open mind and have actually gotten to know him pretty well. He's a very nice guy and I can totally understand why he and my husband are friends.

When you look at him, you can see that life has been hard. When you hear his story, you can’t help but feel sorry for his experiences. I often find myself thinking about how I have reacted to homeless people in the past…with a very healthy dose of skepticism. Are their stories legitimate or are they fabricated to make you feel sorry for them? Are they trying to manipulate? Do they have good intentions? I will admit that all of those thoughts have crossed my mind in regard to Jester.

What I have found is that the boys absolutely love him. They ask if he will be home when they get back from school or when they wake up. One day when Monkey was getting off the bus, before I could even say “hi” to him, he asked me if Jester was here. When I said “yes” he was visibly relieved and excited to run into the house to find him. Seeing their pure love for him is really something, and I know it is having a positive impact on Jester.

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and that even if you have bad experiences, those experiences will teach you something you need to know for later down the line. In other words, God has a plan, even if you don’t agree with it or understand it at the time. I can't help but feel this way for Jester and have shared that with him. As a Christian man, he also believes it to be true. And, even though it is adding financial strain to our lives to have him here, I am happy with our decision and have faith that God has a plan for us in this situation as well. 

Since Jester moved in, we have been helping him connect with resources, including things for veterans and for his old hobby and sport, karate. What we are finding is that some people really do have huge hearts. Jester is using his former black belt status to get him back into training, and he is being allowed to help teach classes at the dojo where Monkey takes karate. As it turns out, both Jester and Monkey's karate teacher studied at the same place when they were younger, so it’s a great fit. God has a way of working things out! 

Jester’s heart has been so lifted since we helped him make this particular connection, and he is thrilled to be doing something that he loves and that is so positive for not only him, but for others as well. It’s also been great for Monkey, because he gets to practice with Jester here at the house. Jester is eager to learn about autism and how to work with Monkey, and Monkey has made great strides with his technique in just the past few days. I think it will be a growth opportunity for both of them and they will learn a lot from each other.

I have no idea how long Jester will be with us, but we are taking it one day at a time. Jester has singlehandedly challenged all of my preconceived notions about homelessness. And, because some of the things he has gone through hit a bit close to home, he has also helped me realize how close we all can be to that kind of a situation. It really can happen to anyone. My perspective has grown and my boys seem to be enriched by the experience of having him here. 

Who knew that the arrival of a homeless man to my door would turn out to be a blessing in disguise?      

A giveaway that was 2,000 people in the making!

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Can I just say how much I LOVE my Facebook fans?

I do. You rock.

I want to say thank you. For liking me. Somehow you guys found my Facebook page, read my blog, and yet still stick around to hang out.


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And since you are all cool like that, it's time to celebrate a momentous occasion. The Caffeinated Autism Mom Facebook page finally reached 2,000 Likes, and it has been a loooong time coming.

Thanks for showing up and letting me know that I am not alone in my often-caffeinated, autism-laced wanderings in life. It's nice to know that there are folks there who share in some of my misery, successes, confusion, brand of hilarity, mishaps, and let's face it...crazy.

My gift to you is a sweet kitchen towel and potholder set featuring the vintage coffee lady that resembles me to a certain degree.

If I can ever afford my own custom graphics for this little blog, I imagine I'll change the CAM images to look a bit more like her. After all, she's a wavy-haired brunette, just like me. Oh, and you gotta love how she rocks the pearls and the fancy cup!

Now, get on with it. Win the cool kitchen towel set already. And, don't forget that sharing is caring.

**Please Note: Some folks with Internet Explorer are not seeing the giveaway widget below. It works flawlessly in the Chrome browser, if you are having any trouble.**

Top 10 Biker Names for CAM

You may remember me talking about my stint with the Hell’s Angels, back before Titan and I had kids. And by stint, I mean I saw them at a club in San Francisco. And, being the conservative suburbanite that I am, I stood out like a cardigan wearing, grandma purse toting sore thumb.

Well, I have some friends who are bikers.  

Does that somehow increase my coolness by proxy?

You know, I do have a little bit of biker cred. Back when I was in elementary school, my dad would pick me up from school on his motorcycle. I would get on the back and put on my helmet and it made me feel a bit less nerdy than I was. It was even more awesome when he came in uniform and picked me up in his police car. That got the kids looking!

Anyway, I had the chance to recently hang out with a local motorcycle club and participate in their fundraiser event. Yes, bikers fundraise! This particular club has a mission to protect children, and they take it very seriously. I am happy to get behind something like that and spend some money.

Once again, I stuck out like a sore thumb. At least this time I had jeans on and not business casual attire! I was in a neighborhood that is not one I frequent at night, and the building was packed with people adorned with black leather, beards, crosses, skulls, gargoyles, embroidered patches, and tattoos.

The thing that really struck me was how many different motorcycle clubs were there that night, all showing their support to what may otherwise be considered a rival club. But, because their mission is all about kids, this particular club has made lots of friends and is able to garner quite a bit of community support. I think that is pretty cool!

My husband works in the construction field and he has told me countless stories over the years about how some of the roughest looking guys are actually the most kind and generous people he has ever met. I think the same can be said about the biker crowd. You may have a stereotypical filter on when you look at them, but I was able to notice immediately the sense of family among the group. Sure, they can be tough and serious when they need to be, but they care about each other like they are related. That is something you don’t see very often.   

It’s kind of the same lesson we all have to learn about autism and other invisible disabilities. A child may not be what they appear at first glance, but there is so much more about them to be uncovered when you get to know them.

So, back to bikers! This particular club believes in what I’m doing with my nonprofit and they decided to become a sponsor at a fundraiser I have coming up. When they turned in their paperwork and listed the names of the people on their team for the event, I had to smile. I saw names like Ribbit, K-Dog, Red, Junkyard, and more. I mean, who has a cool nickname like that? Bikers do!

I let my mind wander a bit, and found myself trying to think of what I would call myself if I ever opted to become a biker chick. Since I am pretty far away from being cool, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be.  



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I present to you my stream of thought as I attempted to come up with a suitable biker name. You never know when you might need one! Although, if I ever drove a motorcyle, I'd probably have to wear head-to-toe body armor to protect me from my own clutziness.

Here are my top 10 biker names in no particular order:

Angel – An obvious choice given that my name is Angela.
Cam – If you are reading this blog, then you know what CAM stands for!
Betty – An homage to Betty White, the hilarious, sweet and squeaky clean lady that every so often shocks you with something she says or does. I’ve shocked a few people in my day!  
C-Burn – This is a play on the cool names that famous people give themselves (like T-Pain and such). This particular name is a derivative of Carol Burnett, one of my all time favorite comedians and queen of physical comedy. If you have no idea who Carol Burnett is, you need to look up her brilliantly funny show - and, I also feel really, really old.    
Lucy – Because I’ve always got some ‘splainin’ to do! Lucille Ball was always so funny!
Ballerina – I am the exact opposite of graceful. I have a scar and partial paralysis on my forehead to prove it. And, bruises on my legs because I’m always banging into something. You get the point.
Kona – After my favorite variety of coffee.
Corretto – Referring to an alcoholic coffee drink. What is better after a long day than coffee with a bit of booze?
Scotta – Paying tribute to the Scottish heritage on my mom’s side. Scotta is the name where Scotland came from, referring to the goddess/warrior woman that lived on the Isle of Skye.
Sugar – My weakness. My nemesis.

Which one is your favorite?

What would your biker name be?


 

Caffeinated Autism Mom for Governor?

Apparently I was written in as a candidate for Governor on a ballot! Talk about shock. Wanna know who thought I was more qualified than the other candidates?

My dad.

I guess I should take it as a compliment, although I thought it was a waste of a perfectly good vote.

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I will admit that I got a tiny bit of satisfaction thinking that some person in the Auditor's office was going to have to add me to a list of write-in candidates.

Right along with Mickey Mouse.

Well, I was almost famous for one day with my single vote for Governor.

In honor of election day and my brief stint as a candidate for Governor, I thought I would make an announcement.

I won the Best Parenting Blog in the Best of Western Washington contest that I was harrassing you about on Facebook for the better part of September and October!

If you voted for me, I really appreciate it. The contest may be a local one, but to those of us who live in the Seattle area, it's kind of a big deal and I'm very excited about winning.

One little side note:
I saw on their website that I won the contest (and even checked it twice that day out of disbelief!), but then their site went down. Now, I can't obsessively check it just to "make sure." Since then, they keep pushing out the date they will re-release the final tally. Something about technical issues. So, I won according to their site, pre-crash, and I hope it stays that way! I'm moving forward with it, and hope I don't have to eat my words later...  

You may also remember me asking begging you for your vote in the Chase Community Giving $5 million grant contest. My nonprofit was ultimately too small and unpopular to win, but I'm happy for each and every vote we got. I hope we can try again next year and do even better. I guess I can't win 'em all, right?

I found this little gem on Facebook.
Make sure my coffee is Stumptown Roasters.
Their coffee is so yummy! :-)

In honor of the one thing I did win, and as a thank you to everyone for putting up with the constant barrage of voting requests on Facebook and Twitter, I'm announcing a blog giveaway!

I have a coffee-themed gift. Several, actually. Did you expect anything less from CAM? I haven't chosen the specific item I'm going to give away for this contest, but they are all cool if you like coffee. And, you do like coffee, don't you? 

To enter, all you have to do is leave me your favorite picture, cartoon, or image related to coffee and post it on my Facebook page. Make sure to include your email address so I can reach you if you win! I will select a winner and make the announcement on Monday the 12th.

Good luck, and thank you for voting!        

Coffee Karma and Espresso Excitement!

If you have been on the Caffeinated Autism Mom Facebook page recently, you may have seen my post about making a "Poor Girl's Iced Latte" at home. When you don't have a lot of cash to go out to a coffee shop and you no longer have an espresso maker, you learn to improvise.

I used to have an espresso maker (two, actually), but unfortunately both machines ended up breaking. I had a well-known brand, but apparently the quality was just not there. When the second machine gave up the ghost, I opted to live without an espresso machine from that point forward. That was about 4 years ago...maybe more.

Well, I must have put out some major coffee karma into the universe or something, because I got a call from a dear friend of mine who knew that I did not have an espresso machine and she had one that she never uses. Actually, it belonged to her husband, but you get the drift. She said that her husband had set it aside for me.

Can you say jaw-dropping moment?

YESSSSSS!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!
IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou!

She met up with me last night and gave me her barely used, commercial grade, high quality, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious espresso machine.

I am in seventh heaven! I think it's all I babbled about with my hubby last night. He may have asked me at some point in the evening if I was going to blog about it. He doesn't need to know that I had already started typing the post when he asked me the question. I claim innocence. He doesn't know me that well. I'm an enigma. Uh-huh. Sure.

I can't wait to read through the manual (yes, I will actually read the manual). I will also lovingly clean and de-scale the machine, go buy some espresso grind coffee, and then take this baby for a test drive.

I can hardly believe a gorgeous Breville machine is sitting on my kitchen counter right now!!! Someone may need to pinch me.

www.brevilleusa.com

 
If you missed my Facebook post, here is how I made my
Poor Girl's Iced Latte:

Brew a pot of your best coffee (preferably made with filtered water).
Simmer it slowly in a saucepan until it reduces to about 1/4 of the original volume.
Refrigerate the concentrated coffee in an airtight glass container.
Pour some of the concentrated coffee into a large glass.
Add ice and coconut milk (or your choice of milk) to taste.
Enjoy!

I hope you have a great week and are able to enjoy some good coffee! *clinking coffee mugs*

Guest Post: Tips for Helping Friends and Family Who Have Children with Autism

Today I am happy to bring you a guest post from Heather, an ex-Nanny. Although she does not have a child with autism, she is no stranger to ASD! She provides some great tips on how extended family members and friends can help out families who have a child with autism. 

As an autism mom, I can tell you that time away from the boys is a rare and precious commodity. Every parent can use a little bit of time away from their kids, and this is especially the case when they have a child with autism! Time to go out on a date with your spouse, go grocery shopping by yourself, or to simply read a book in a quiet coffee shop are all amazing gifts to a parent of a child with autism. Sometimes we just need a tiny break, and they don't come very often! 

This is a great post to share with everyone in your life that cares about your child and wants to help out somehow, but needs a little nudge. Thank you, Heather, for such great advice! Read on, friends. 

Tips for Helping Friends and Family Who Have Children with Autism

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As an aunt to a nephew with autism, I know all too well how hard it can be for my sister and her husband to be able to get out of the house and steal a few precious moments alone. My nephew is the greatest blessing in the world to them, but with his autism it’s also hard to find anyone willing to look after him while they go on a much-needed weekend getaway, or even just a date. Potential babysitters tend to shy away once they learn he has autism, mainly because they lack any real knowledge about the disorder and haven’t had any real interaction with children on the spectrum. And while it should be easier to find a friend or family member to watch him, it usually isn’t. I used to be just like them – unsure of what to do around my nephew, unsure of how to help. It didn’t help that we live halfway across the country from each other and don’t get to spend nearly enough time together. But after a lot of trial and error I’ve found a few ways that friends and family can become more at ease around children with autism:

1.      Learn as much as you can about autism on your own time – The best way to become more at ease with something you know little about is to completely immerse yourself in information. Read as much as you can about it so that you understand more what autism is and what common characteristics of autistic children are. Having some working knowledge ahead of time makes it easier to transition into a real-life situation.

2.      Spend quality time with the child around the parents – Before tackling a full-fledged babysitting adventure on your own, spend some quality time with the child and the parents. Let the child get comfortable with your presence, and gradually work into spending more time alone with him/her while the parents are still readily available. The more comfortable you both get with each other, the easier it will be once it’s just the two of you.

3.      Don’t be afraid to ask questions – One of the biggest problems my sister would face in the beginning is that everyone would shy away from asking any real questions ahead of time, despite the fact that they had plenty lingering in the background. Asking questions is the easiest way to learn how to handle different situations in a way the parents are OK with, so don’t be shy about it. You aren’t going to offend anyone by asking serious questions.

4.      Know the child’s routine beforehand – Straying from the child’s normal schedule can cause outbursts and destructive behavior, making it imperative to adhere to their normal schedule as much as possible. Keep a list of meal times, play times, etc., handy so that you can reference it at any given moment.

5.      Be respectful – Avoid yelling or using confrontational tones with affected children, be mindful of any barriers they may have (such as touch), and be respectful in your manner toward them. Respect breeds respect, just like discourse breeds discourse. Choose the former to help lay the foundation for a peaceful time together.

One of the problems that many family members and friends face is that they simply don’t understand autism. As much as they may want to help, helping also makes them nervous. The easiest way to alleviate this is by spending more time with the child and getting comfortable with each other together. One of the greatest gifts you can give to a parent who has a child with autism is time to themselves, so don’t shy away from learning and lending a helping hand.

Author Bio

Heather Smith is an ex-nanny. Passionate about thought leadership and writing, Heather regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to become a nanny by giving advice on site design as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She is available at H.smith7295 [at] gmail.com.

Guest Post: Why me?

Today I have the privilege of introducing you to one of my local friends, who also happens to be a fellow autism mom. She does some great work in the special needs community. I appreciate her personally because of her generous spirit. She has been willing to share some of her time and expertise with me in order to help my nonprofit get off to a good start, which I am very grateful for.

Jennifer does not yet have a blog, and to be honest, I'm trying to convince her to start one! She likes to write (and is really good at it!), so publishing content online seems like a natural fit for her.

I feel fortunate to have her share her very first written piece with us here at Caffeinated Autism Mom. Once she gets past the nerves of having a post "out there" in the big blogosphere, I have a feeling that many more posts will soon follow. When she becomes well-known online, I can be like a proud mother hen and say that I knew her before she started blogging!

Jennifer's son, Zachary

As the Communications Manager for Dynamic Partners, California-native Jennifer O’Neal uses her writing skills to raise money so that other families can receive the same life-changing services her son did. She is also a Board Member at Academy Schools. Jennifer lives in Seattle with her husband, Dave, her effervescent 8-year old son and muse, Zachary, their two dogs, Maggy and Honey Bear, and sassy cat, Stetson.  You can reach her via email at jroneal at comcast dot net or on Twitter at @Jennifer_ONeal.

Please join me in extending a warm (and caffeinated) welcome to Jennifer! After you're done reading, I hope you will take a moment and leave her a comment below. Let's show her some love, peeps. :-) 


"Why me?"

We’ve all asked this.  “Why does my child have special needs?”  Although we may be outwardly hopeful, somewhere there is a corner of our minds where this question lives.  We might have thought it only happens to other people.  We may have believed we had cosmic exception; a guarantee that our children would be ‘typical.’ There is guilt. There is blame.  There are moments when we feel powerless. 

But are we?

Maybe, just maybe, these children are gifted to us because, with the right catalyst, we are people who will take action. 

Some of our actions will be large.  We will lobby insurance.  We will speak at the state capitol.  We will volunteer.  We will choose a new career path so we may help others.  We will create services and support groups to help our peers.  We will advocate change.

Some of our actions will be quiet.  We will help another parent find services.  We will comfort.  We will be that late night phone call.  We will believe in possibility, not limitation.  Some of us are just realizing our potential for action, but we will get there.  Collectively, we will move the needle towards a better life for the children entrusted to us. 

Some days are hard and that is okay.  Some days we have errant thoughts about typical children and the road not taken.  And a tear falls.  And that is okay too.  But we know that, every day, our children give us the opportunity to be a better person than we were the day before.

Above all, we are grateful for our champions; the people, services, and programs that have empowered us as families.  We have been championed by those we may never meet; the generous people who give time, money, and resources so that services can be expanded, therapy centers can be built, and more families can be served. 

To show this, we will engage our family, friends, and community members to help more children with special needs.  We ask you now to join us, take action and become someone’s champion.    

Perhaps the question should be:

“Why not me?” 

- Jennifer O'Neal

  

Flashback Friday: Pyramid of Crazy

I am co-hosting an autism awareness event today through my nonprofit, and I got a brilliant (or maybe dumb...) idea to make my own t-shirt. Whenever I do speaking engagements and mention my online name, the words "Caffeinated Autism Mom" always gets a chuckle from the audience.

At the event, I thought I should wear a t-shirt related to autism. I have completely worn out 2 of my autism shirts and the pickings are getting slim. I had several ideas, but they were all quite serious and some were pretty controversial.

So, I figured it might be fun to use my online name on the t-shirt to draw attention and possibly use it as a fun ice breaker with those who stop by my table.

Want to know what I have planned for the back of the t-shirt? The Pyramid of Crazy. This particular post is in my top 3 all-time favorite posts that I have written here at Caffeinated Autism Mom. It's completely silly and I love it. I hope you enjoy it, too.

Imagine me wearing a t-shirt with the pyramid on the back. It should be awesome as long as the transfer material, my printer and my iron cooperate!

Now, don't forget to enter the giveaway I've got going on right now. You could win some awesome coffee! Click here to read all about it and to enter.

If you haven't yet read my post about the Autism Mom's Pyramid of Crazy, you need to do it! I promise you will smile. You may even laugh out loud. And, don't forget to grab the Pyramid of Crazy PicBadge!

Another giveaway! How much do I love you?

Last week we made it to a magnificent 1,000 "Likes" on Facebook! I was floored by the love from you guys, so I thought I'd send some love right back at ya!

It's time for another giveaway!

As a token of appreciation for visiting my blog's little corner on Facebook, I thought I would pick a gift for you that is near and dear to my heart.

What could it be?

Well, think about my name: Caffeinated Autism Mom.

Any guesses? It's pretty obvious, I think.

I'm giving away coffee, of course!

Up for grabs is a 12-ounce bag of Grounds for Change whole bean coffee. Their coffee is fair trade certified, organic certified, CarbonFree certified, and shade grown. Can you say awesome? It is the Nicaragua "Segovia" variety, which is a medium roast with notes of caramel apple and roasted nuts.

Sound delicous? Just writing all of that is making me want to invent a remote controlled coffee maker. Right. Now.

Now, for a confession.

I thoughtfully purchased this bag of coffee...for myself. And, I have been looking forward to opening it. I have never tried the Grounds for Change brand and I've been wanting to.

However, you may recall that recently I have been making a concerted effort to cut down on my caffeine consumption. It sucks. But, my body is happier with the change. I have learned it's okay to say, "decaf."

So, my friends, you get to reap the benefit! I figured this was a perfect way for me to say thanks for hanging out with me on Facebook.

Entering to win is easy. All you have to do is:

1. Like Caffeinated Autism Mom on Facebook.
2. Leave a comment below this post that includes:
    (a) your email address, and
    (b) your favorite coffee brand and/or favorite coffee drink.

That's it! Remember, if you don't include your email address, I can't let you know if you won! I'll accept blog comment entries all week long. The winner will be announced on Facebook next Monday, April 30th.  

By the way, my drink of choice right now is a decaf, ristretto shot latte. If I'm feeling extra indulgent, I make it a breve. Just in case you were wondering.

Before I wrap this up, I wanted to take a moment to announce the winner of the copy of Kate Winslet's book, The Golden Hat.

Drum roll, please...

The winner is: Denise Walk! Congratulations, Denise! I have already sent you an email, so I hope to hear from you soon.

Good luck to everyone with the latest giveaway! If you win, I'd love to hear how the coffee tastes. I may have to buy another bag of it to try!

Flashback Friday: McPhail Family EMHE

One of my most popular posts is about the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition for the McPhail family. Lindsay McPhail is a mommy blogger friend of mine! It was so incredible to watch their new home revealed this past fall. I was in tears when Ty Pennington yelled, "Move that bus!"

If you were not already aware, the show ended this month. The McPhail's were one of the last families to receive a home from the EMHE team.

It was always so inspirational to learn the story behind the deserving families chosen and then see the transformation of their home. I will definitely miss the show...but not necessarily the ugly crying I always did during the reveal! 

I hope you enjoy reading about the McPhail family and their new home courtesy of the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition team!

Happy First Blogiversary!

I thought I would do a musical number (of a sort) commemorating my first year anniversary of blogging here at Caffeinated Autism Mom.

To the tune of “The 12 Days of Christmas”…

(By the way, I’ll save you the agony of going through this the LONG way. I’ve written it as if you have reached the end of the song, when it runs down from 12 to 1. But, don't get confused by my numbers - they're my actual numbers and I didn't follow the regular 12 to 1. J) 

 ♪ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♪ ♫ ♬

On my first blogiversary, I thought I’d share with you:

     About 41,000 page visits

       679 Facebook Fans

         628 Twitter followers

           468 Blog post comments

             170 Posts written

               Over 100 topic labels  

                 Countless late nights writing

                   6 levels in the Pyramid of Craaaaaaaazyyyyyyyy

                     3 fun blog awards (...and Mom of the Month!)

                       2 awesome boys (and a hubby!)

                         1 essay published

                           And buckets of cooooffeeeeeeeeeeee!

I’ll share some of my favorite moments in the coming days. So, be watching for the blog rewind and reminisce with me!

This year has been a wonderful experience! I can’t wait to see what will happen in my second year of blogging. Thank you all so much for being here with me and sharing your time and your friendship. It means a lot.

First kiss...

I can hardly believe I’m writing this, but Monkey had his first kiss last week. I’m still in shock! Of course, Monkey never said a word to me when it happened. I found out from his bus driver the day after. Here’s the skinny:

He was on the bus heading home from school. Due to some issues he’s had with bullying earlier this year, all seats are assigned on the bus. He typically sits by himself, which is how he likes it. However, on this particular day there was a girl sitting with him. I’ll call her the Divine Miss M. Since I’m friends with her mom, Monkey has known her since she was born. The Divine Miss M is the same age as Prince Charming, and they’ve all grown up fairly close to one another.

Anyway, he was apparently having a nice ride home on the bus with her sitting next to him and he decided to kiss her on the cheek. Her response? She smacked him on the head!

After the kiss happened, the bus driver had a little chat with him about how it’s not okay to kiss anyone on the school bus and that he should not do that again. Once I found out about the situation from the bus driver, I spoke with the mom and told her about it. She, of course, already knew about it. You gotta wonder what it must be like to have neurotypical kids that offer up information willingly…

So, I waited for quiet moment when Prince Charming wouldn’t interrupt us, and I asked Monkey why he kissed the Divine Miss M. He said it was because he loves her. I have to admit I was a bit surprised by his statement. I wasn’t sure what he thought love meant, so I probed further. I asked, “Why do you love her?” He replied, “Because she’s nice to me.”

There are some items of note here. First, Monkey used to be a hands-off kind of kid. He didn’t like to be touched and I didn’t get a lot of cuddling time with him when he was little. Second, he has a difficult time expressing emotions and tends to be on the more serious side of life. He only began saying, “I love you” spontaneously to my husband and I not much more than a year ago. The very idea that he was willing to kiss a friend (who happens to be a girl) because he “loves” her is a very big deal. It actually made my heart swell with pride. That’s progress!

He and I have taken some time to talk about things a few times in the past couple of days. I discovered that although he was upset that she hit him on the head in response to his kiss on her cheek, he was more distraught by the fact that the bus driver pulled him aside to tell him it wasn’t okay. He doesn’t like to feel like he’s in trouble and be the center of negative attention in front of other kids, so this was a little upsetting to him. He has since decided that he won’t try to kiss her anymore because he doesn’t want to get smacked on the head again. I am not sure if he thinks of the Divine Miss M as “cute,” but I have a suspicion that he does. In his mind, I would venture to say that he equates niceness with being cute.

Something interesting happened the other night. I briefly mentioned the girl’s name as Monkey was going to bed and my hubby was standing behind me when I did it. I saw Monkey’s face change. I could swear it was a sudden flash of embarrassment. I can honestly say that I had never seen that type of emotional response from him before. In the dim light it looked like his cheeks were starting to turning red, which was amazing to me! I immediately shut my mouth and dropped the subject, honoring what I thought I saw from him. The next morning I spoke with Monkey so I could clarify what I witnessed the night before. He told me that he was fine talking about the Divine Miss M with me, but that he didn’t think that we should talk about it with his Dad. It appears it really was embarrassment. More progress!

I was practically reeling from the normalcy of the whole situation. Could this all be really happening? I definitely didn’t see this coming! Although it wasn’t entirely appropriate for this age, I am actually very proud of Monkey. He’s come a long way. So many things have changed for him to even approach a moment like this. All of these things combine together for some thrilling progress!

As far as the kissing stuff goes…oh boy. He just turned 9 and I’m not ready for this stuff yet! 

Girls just wanna have fun

TGIF, people! My gal pal, Miss C, is in town visiting. Guess what that means? Chocolate and chick flicks! I've had a busy week, so I'm ready to chillax to the max! I'm thinking it will be a put-your-feet-up-and-watch-a-funny-girly-movie-and-overindulge-in-coffee-and-all-sorts-of-chocolate kind of a day.

So, to celebrate that the weekend is once again upon us and that I will be taking a little sanity break with my friend, I thought I'd recycle the post I wrote that describes what I have planned today. There is an update since I wrote that post in March...both of my boys are now in school full day, which means we can watch our movie uninterrupted. Yessssss! Can you hear the angels singing?

Happy Friday to all! Now, be good readers and click here to see the original post. There's even a picture of Johnny Depp! :-) 

I'd like to thank...

Earlier this week I was thrilled to be given the honor of receiving an award from a local autism organization. I have been involved with them since almost the beginning of my family’s journey with autism, so it meant a lot to be included among the awardees.

The award luncheon was in a fancy hotel ballroom and there was a fancy meal. It was all very pretty. I was lucky enough to not only have my husband with me, but also some of my friends and fellow autism parents. I also met some great new people and we all had a nice time hanging out together at the cool table!

It was the cool table because:

a) We all pretty much knew each other (in name or reputation), or were already friends,

b) We all represented an underserved geographic region in our area,

c) We had 4 of the awardees at our table, and

d) We got to sit with the incredible mom who nominated all 4 of the winners at our table!

There were some fairly large companies represented there, including some big-name people from our local sports teams. I’m so used to doing my own thing in my own little corner of the world, that being in a big room filled with lots of important people was kind of intimidating.

I was certainly in good company! In fact, one of my friends actually brought me to tears with her acceptance speech. When she got back to the table she was surprised by my bright red nose and my mascara-stained Kleenex. I shook my head at her and gave her the how-dare-you-make-me-cry-in-public glare to which she grinned back at me like she’d been a naughty girl. At least I managed to not become a blubbering idiot on stage. I think everyone is happy for that!

The really cool thing about the experience is that it felt like an Oprah full-circle moment. When my husband and I we were first figuring out the autism thing with our boys several years ago I managed to connect with this organization. They do great work in our community for autism families. Over the years, I have taken classes from them, I’ve served as a parent mentor, and my kids have participated in some of their programs. So, for me to now be in a place where they recognize what I do to advocate for special needs families, particularly those with autism, was pretty incredible.

I’m used to getting up in front of people and don’t have a problem with public speaking, but I was pretty nervous. After I gave my acceptance speech I noticed that it took several minutes for my hands to stop shaking when I got back to my table. In fact, coming off the stage, I immediately forgot everything I just said. Every. Word. Gone. Poof. I had to ask my husband if I sounded remotely coherent. I then became worried that I’d used the word, “umm.” Titan said I was coherent and umm-free. I hope he wasn’t just paying me lip service because he’s my hubby.

Want to know the one thing I did remember from my speech? I remember that I did not thank my husband. Yup. Great job, Angela! You forgot the most important thing!!! My husband is THE reason that I am able to do what I do in the community. Without his never-ending support I wouldn’t be who I am, doing the work I do for other families. He should be getting an award, for crying out loud!

So, since I don’t remember what I said and I know there are people to thank, I’m going to set it right…in writing.

I’d like to thank:

My husband. He deserves special recognition for being devoted to our boys, available when I need him, and caring enough to recognize that it’s not just about our family but that we can use our experience to make a positive impact on others.

My friend who nominated me as the Community Advocate of the Year. She said some very wonderful things about me. Hearing those words read during my introduction was odd…almost like I was hearing my own eulogy. I received a written copy of what was said, but if I quote anything I’ll just burst into tears from the kindness of it all. So I’ll spare you…

The parents I’ve worked with over the past 3 years. You have trusted me even when I didn’t trust in my own abilities. You have been my friends and helped me grow. Your children are exceptional and inspirational.          

My boys. They are the reason I discovered so many things about myself. They led me to where I am right now. I could have never imagined being in this place doing what I do. They helped me discover a passion I would not have found otherwise.

Extreme Makeover Home Edition: The McPhail Family

Do you remember me telling you about my friend in Oregon and how her family was chosen to receive an Extreme Makeover Home Edition? Well, their 2-hour episode will air tonight on ABC at 8:00pm!

My friend Lindsay and her husband C.J. have 3 adorable boys, and 2 of them are diagnosed on the autism spectrum. I was so excited the whole week of their makeover and you may remember me posting many updates about it on Facebook.

I wasn’t able to be in Oregon to help (although I would have loved to have been there in person!), so I participated as best as I could from here. I had the opportunity to help with fundraising through an auction, and I also found a web broadcast of the live news coverage of their reveal. I was bawling. So, take that as fair warning that you better have a box of Kleenex at the ready before you turn on the show tonight.  

I thought you might like a little background on their story. This is courtesy of a September 7, 2011 write-up from the Extreme Makeover Home Edition Facebook page:

“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” traveled to Medford, Oregon, to surprise the McPhail family with the door knock that can change lives.

As a young newly married couple, C.J. and Lindsay McPhail decided they wanted to spend their lives helping others. They started the Southern Oregon Chapter of Sparrow Clubs, a non-profit organization, which helps children with medical issues by pairing them with a school which adopts them as their school’s "Sparrow." C.J. found himself speaking to students, businesses, and anyone who would listen about the incredible power Sparrow Clubs gives to both students and Sparrows. His amazing ability as a public speaker motivated thousands of students to raise funds, perform service work, and create programs all in the name of their Sparrow. Not only were C.J. and Linsday a part of raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for kids with medical needs, they were also able to help transform schools through challenging students to look beyond themselves and serve.

C.J. and Lindsay never imagined though they would one day need the help from the very same organization they devoted so much of their time to. Soon after moving to Portland and running a chapter there, their oldest son Sawyer was diagnosed with a form of Autism and their second oldest son Thatcher began to start showing signs of Autism as well. With their children regressing, the family moved back to Medford to live on a 50-acre family property next to Lindsay’s parents. The boys showed great progress, but Sawyer still faced several challenges due to his lack of social cues. Much to the family’s surprise, Sawyer became a Sparrow and through his endearing personality, he helped put a face on autism and brought awareness to over 900 students in his adopted school.

And, this comes from the Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition Facebook page:

Ty and the design team head to the community of Medford, Oregon to surprise the McPhail family. CJ and Lindsay McPhail have dedicated their lives to helping their community in many ways but especially children with severe medical needs. After years of helping families in difficult circumstances, they were dealt a devastating blow when two of their own three young boys were diagnosed with autism. Despite their difficulties, the McPhails still continue to give back to their community. This week The McPhails are sent off on a spectacular Hawaiian vacation while Ty and the designers summon a volcano to take down the house and build them a custom designed home to help their family deal with the special challenges autism brings. This week, Ty and the team are helped out with some very special guests. Temple Grandin gives some insight on the world of autism, while Chris Powell from “Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition” sheds light on the benefits of gluten-free cooking, then sticks around to help build a boot camp that mom Lindsay can run out of her home. Later, they team up with Autism Speaks to “Light it up Blue” all around the world to spread autism awareness.

I had a chance to speak with Lindsay the other day as we counted down to the airing of her family’s episode. This is what she shared with me:

My biggest soap box during the whole week and really in life in general was that I want parents of kids on the spectrum to know that they are not alone...that there are millions of us around the world and while are children all struggle with different issues, we are sisters in the fight! Just like my plight to all moms I think that we have to be real about our struggles as moms and feelings of guilt and inadequacy and then know that NO ONE has it ALL together.

I am really hoping that ABC chooses to use some of the ample footage of meltdowns the boys had throughout the week and not just show the fun shots. I want people to see autism...maybe not our scary meltdowns (just because I want to honor our boys) but we had plenty of TV appropriate meltdowns. J

If you would like to see more from this wonderful family, visit the McPhail family Facebook page. You can also view lots of great pictures of their new home being built at the Extreme Makeover Home Edition Jackson County Facebook page. And, there is some great footage of Lindsay and her husband C.J. as they speak to the media for the first time after the reveal.

And, just so you know… Lindsay is a wonderful autism mommy blogger and small business owner. Please check out her cool blogging community, Earth Monkey Moms, and her company, Earth Monkeys, which makes an eco-friendly line of portable baby and toddler accessories that are made from 100% recycled plastic bottles. 

I wish them nothing but love. They are a wonderful family and I am honored to call Lindsay my friend.

(One last thing! Please do me a huge favor. I don’t have cable, so don’t spoil the juicy details of the show for me! I have to wait until it’s posted on the ABC website before I can watch it! Be nice and don’t spill the beans. Thanks! J)