As an autism mom, I can tell you that time away from the boys is a rare and precious commodity. Every parent can use a little bit of time away from their kids, and this is especially the case when they have a child with autism! Time to go out on a date with your spouse, go grocery shopping by yourself, or to simply read a book in a quiet coffee shop are all amazing gifts to a parent of a child with autism. Sometimes we just need a tiny break, and they don't come very often!
This is a great post to share with everyone in your life that cares about your child and wants to help out somehow, but needs a little nudge. Thank you, Heather, for such great advice! Read on, friends.
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As an aunt to a nephew with autism, I know all too well how hard
it can be for my sister and her husband to be able to get out of the house and
steal a few precious moments alone. My nephew is the greatest blessing in the
world to them, but with his autism it’s also hard to find anyone willing to
look after him while they go on a much-needed weekend getaway, or even just a
date. Potential babysitters tend to shy away once they learn he has autism,
mainly because they lack any real knowledge about the disorder and haven’t had
any real interaction with children on the spectrum. And while it should be
easier to find a friend or family member to watch him, it usually isn’t. I used
to be just like them – unsure of what to do around my nephew, unsure of how to
help. It didn’t help that we live halfway across the country from each other
and don’t get to spend nearly enough time together. But after a lot of trial
and error I’ve found a few ways that friends and family can become more at ease
around children with autism:
1.
Learn
as much as you can about autism on your own time –
The best way to become more at ease with something you know little about is to
completely immerse yourself in information. Read as much as you can about it so
that you understand more what autism is and what common characteristics of
autistic children are. Having some working knowledge ahead of time makes it
easier to transition into a real-life situation.
2.
Spend
quality time with the child around the parents –
Before tackling a full-fledged babysitting adventure on your own, spend some
quality time with the child and the
parents. Let the child get comfortable with your presence, and gradually work
into spending more time alone with him/her while the parents are still readily
available. The more comfortable you both get with each other, the easier it
will be once it’s just the two of you.
3.
Don’t
be afraid to ask questions – One of the biggest problems my sister would
face in the beginning is that everyone would shy away from asking any real
questions ahead of time, despite the fact that they had plenty lingering in the
background. Asking questions is the easiest way to learn how to handle
different situations in a way the parents are OK with, so don’t be shy about
it. You aren’t going to offend anyone by asking serious questions.
4.
Know
the child’s routine beforehand – Straying from the child’s normal
schedule can cause outbursts and destructive behavior, making it imperative to
adhere to their normal schedule as much as possible. Keep a list of meal times,
play times, etc., handy so that you can reference it at any given moment.
5.
Be
respectful – Avoid yelling or using confrontational tones with affected children,
be mindful of any barriers they may have (such as touch), and be respectful in
your manner toward them. Respect breeds respect, just like discourse breeds
discourse. Choose the former to help lay the foundation for a peaceful time
together.
One of the problems that many family members and friends face is
that they simply don’t understand autism. As much as they may want to help,
helping also makes them nervous. The easiest way to alleviate this is by spending
more time with the child and getting comfortable with each other together. One
of the greatest gifts you can give to a parent who has a child with autism is
time to themselves, so don’t shy away from learning and lending a helping hand.
Author Bio
Heather
Smith is an ex-nanny. Passionate about thought leadership and writing, Heather
regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations,
branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to become a nanny by giving advice on site design
as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to
nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She is available at
H.smith7295 [at] gmail.com.
