Monday, June 20, 2011

President of the Fan Club

My favorite movie for Father's Day is Finding Nemo!

One thing I’ve noticed a lot over the years is that there is never a shortage of women who complain about their husbands. Since it was Father’s Day on Sunday, there were some interesting reads out there. SPD Blogger Network featured a blog entry entitled, “Fathering is not Mothering.” CNN featured a great opinion piece from the perspective of a father on this very topic, essentially telling dads to “wake the hell up!” I liked this one so much that I also posted it on my Facebook page over the weekend.
I married an awesome guy and he turned out to be an amazing dad, too. I know I have a strong bias, but people tell me all the time what a great guy I’ve got. In fact, I was on a conference call and we got sidetracked for a moment, like women do. What do you think we ended up talking about in those moments? Men, of course! Things started to turn a bit negative when the other gals recounted some of the trouble they’d had with the men in their lives.
They all know my husband and spoke about how I found myself a great catch. I chimed in with, “Yes, I certainly did! I’m the President of his Fan Club!” They all chuckled a bit and seemed to indicate that they are members of his club, too. There were mumbled comments about whether or not he had a brother, or if we could clone him, etc. J
I know this is not the norm, especially in the case of families with children who have special needs of any kind. In many cases the added stress can easily fracture a marriage. I see it happen all the time.  
I am fortunate that my husband chips in whenever I need help. He recognizes the research and time I put in on behalf of our boys and will often defer to me. He quickly got on board when I proposed a radical diet change in our household – eliminating gluten, dairy, egg, and soy. He has worked with me on strategies to deal with behavior and sensory issues, listening to my ideas and helping me come up with new ones that are often better than my own. He stands with me in decisions and never undermines my authority. In turn, I never emasculate him and I always let him have the final say.
We know that if we are not on the same page, the kids might try to take over! So, we make it a point to communicate with each other every single day, even if it’s only for a couple of minutes. Our favorite time of the day is when the boys are in bed and we have a moment to sit next to each other and talk, or just watch a movie until we’re both groggy (or my husband falls asleep in his chair). Our favorite time of all is when we get to go out on a date! Time together without the boys allows us to recharge and connect again as a couple.
I’m thankful beyond words that God brought my husband into my life. I know I would probably be in a rubber room somewhere if he was not helping me raise our boys. It’s nice to have a day to celebrate all of his contributions to our family and to reinforce why I am the President of his Fan Club.
I hope you had a wonderful Father’s Day!


Yvette said...

Love this! I am blessed with a husaband who recently made a stressful career change because he realized the boys' childhood was flying by and he was missing it. Like yours, my hubby goes along with all of our diet changes and tries to understand our son's issues. When he can, he helps or just listens when I need to boucne ideas off of him. Our husbands need to know we are their fans and that they are appreciated!

Caffeinated Autism Mom said...

Yvette, it sounds like you found yourself a great guy! That is so wonderful to hear. Husbands who are supportive and connected are a beautiful thing for a family.

Rethink Autism said...

Thanks for a lovely post- way to honor the man in your life.

My dad was a fantastic "autism dad"- just wrote a little piece about him on our company blog.

He was such a great advocate for my brother growing up- helped him develop his strengths.

Happy belated Father's Day!

Caffeinated Autism Mom said...

Thanks, RA! It's always great to hear of other wonderful men out there doing what is right for their families. I love that.

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